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Talk:1983 Pacific hurricane season/GA1

< Talk:1983 Pacific hurricane season
Latest comment: 10 years ago by 12george1 in topic GA Review

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Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 00:34, 24 August 2013 (UTC)Reply

  • "During the 1983 season, there were 21 named storms, which was slightly less than the previous season. Furthermore, eight storms reached Category 3 or higher on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale." - Between this sentences, should the number of hurricanes be stated? Also on the latter sentence, you should note that storms reaching Category 3 or higher on the SSHS/SSWHS are called major hurricanes.
    • No need to the first since it was not significant but did the second. YE Pacific Hurricane
  • "One storm in 1983 formed in May, an event the happens every other year on average." - "happens" --> "occurs"
  • In the second paragraph, you use the term "formed/forming" a total of 7 times. I suggest substituting some of them with "developed/developing".
  • "Around this time, a weak tropical depression made landfall along the western portion of the nation as well." - Are you referring to TD 22? Because apparently it did not make landfall.
  • "though this was later surpassed by Hurricane Alma in May of 1990." - Why did you wikilink directly to Alma 90 if that storm doesn't have an article?
  • "intensified into a Category 2 hurricane on the Saffir-Simpson hurricane wind scale (SSHWS)." - This is the third time you mentioned the SSHWS (and wikilinked it). So why did you wait until now to abbreviate it?
  • "Despite being situated over fairly warm waters, wind shear increased, causing Adolph to weaken considerably." - This makes it sound like the increasing wind shear is the contrast to warm waters, rather than the warm waters and the storm. Re-word this to "Despite being situated over fairly warm waters, Adolph weakened considerably due to increasing wind shear."
  • "Although the EPHC expected the storm to stay at sea,[17] Adolph curved north-northeastward and was downgraded to a tropical storm on May 25." - The second part of this sentence really has nothing to do with the EPHC expecting Adolph to remain offshore. Maybe say "Adolph curved north-northeastward toward land and was downgraded to a tropical storm on May 25."
  • "However, the remnants of the storm brought heavy showers and gusty winds to Florida." - Under the headline "Alicia will be first hurricane", there is nothing about heavy showers and gusty winds in Florida. The headline and newspaper article you intended to cite is directly above it. Also remember to change the title in the reference.
  • "in 1983, the season officially began on June 1, making Adolph a pre-season storm.[19]" - Wait, the 1983 PHS actually started on June 1? Then why does the lede say May 15?
  • "After staying a tropical depression for 24 hours, the EPHC announced that the system had intensified, and was subsequently upgraded to Tropical Storm Barbara." - Just reword and shorten that to say "After remaining a tropical depression for 24 hours, the system then intensified into Tropical Storm Barbara."
    • Okay. 01:14, 24 August 2013 (UTC)
  • "Six hours later, Barbara skipped Category 2 status, and became a major hurricane, a storm with winds of 112 mph (180 km/h) or higher." - (1. Because the storm rapidly intensified, you don't have to mention it skipped Category 2 status; (2. We don't say wind speeds not rounded to the nearest nearest 5 (i.e. 110 mph and 115 mph); and (3. You already explained twice what a major hurricane is, this portion isn't necessary: "a storm with winds of 112 mph (180 km/h) or higher."
  • "Around this time, Barbra developed a well-defined eye,[6] At peak, Barbara had a "fantastic eye".[15]" - Barbra? :P Anyway, these two sentences should be merged together. I would suggest "Around this time, Barbara developed a well-defined eye,[6] which was described as "fantastic".[15]"
  • "It slowly weakened after peak intensity as it began to encounter cooler water temperatures, while moving slowly northward around the western edge of a high pressure area over central Mexico." - Because the previous sentence states, "Hurricane Barbara held on to peak intensity for a day", this should probably start with a phrase like "Thereafter". Also, remember to avoid using "it" twice in a sentence.
  • "After making a sharp turn northwest, the depression maintained its intensity for 42 hours." - That was more like a north-northwestward turn and I don't think it qualifies as "sharp" either. Seems more like the northwest turn took place after the depression strengthened into Cosme.
  • "An intense area of thunderstorms developed 230 mi (370 km) south of the Gulf of Tehuantepec on July 4, which was classified as a tropical depression at 1800 UTC on July 5 roughly 345 mi (555 km) south-southeast of Acapulco. " - This sentence is a bit long. Split it after "July 4", then change "which" to "It" or "The system".
  • "By 0600 UTC July 10, Tropical Storm Dalilia had been downgraded into a tropical depression." ---> "At 0600 UTC on July 10, Dalilia was downgraded into a tropical depression."
  • "of an anticylone over the Yucatan Peninsula." - Yucatan Peninsula ---> Yucatán Peninsula. Also, there is a misspelled word here.
  • "the agency upgraded the low into a tropical storm." - The system wasn't a "low", it was a depression.
  • "By 0000 UTC on July 21, Flossie was no longer a tropical storm." - Because of the follow-up sentence, you should instead state that "Flossie weakened to a tropical depression".
  • "The seventh tropical cyclone of the season originated from a tropical depression that developed during the afternoon hours of July 23 north of Clipperton Island." - Shorten and re-word to "The seventh tropical depression of the season developed during the afternoon hours of July 23, while located north of Clipperton Island."
    •   Done. 01:14, 24 August 2013 (UTC)
  • "on August 3, the tropical cyclone reached its secondary peak of 45 mph (70 km/h)." - Is this really necessary?
  • "After entering CPHC's warning zone on August 1, the CPHC re-upgraded Gil into a tropical storm." - To avoid saying "CPHC" twice, reword the second part to "Gil was re-upgraded to a tropical storm."
  • "In Maui, the outer rainbands of Gil led to minor flooding." ---> "In Maui, precipitation from the outer rainbands of Gil led to minor flooding."
  • "Additionally, the 30-foot ship Adad nearly in the storm and" - Missing a word?
  • "Although initially expected to pose a threat to Hawaii,[17] this did not occur." - Maybe this would be better suited in the second paragraph (probably after the first sentence).
  • "late on July 28, the EPHC upgraded the storm a hurricane" - Missing a word?
  • "After continuing west-north for 12 hours, it then veered" - I'm very familiar with compass directions. However, I have never heard of "west-north". :P
  • "The storm dissipated the next day at a high latitude, though the remnants of the storm brought cloud cover to Oregon and Washington." - Don't say "the storm" twice in the same sentence either
  • "On July 30 and 31, a tropical disturbance crossed Central America." - "On July 30 and 31" ---> "On July 30 and July 31"
  • "At a low latitude, a tropical depression was declared on August 3." - Maybe you could be more specific about the location.
  • "Nine failed to intensify despite being situated over warm water." - Don't refer to the system as "Nine".
  • "The depression dissipated four days later over somewhat cooler water." - Say the date instead of "four days later", because a date hasn't been mentioned for three consecutive sentences.
  • "from a northward bulge of the Intertropical Convergence Zone (TCZ) in early August," - "(TCZ)"?
  • "hurricane late on August 10 and subsequently developed an eye began to form." - Remove either "developed" or "began to form"
  • "ceased very close to landfall on the Bajja California Peninsula." - Typo
  • "thunderstorms located over the Yucatan Peninsula on August 11 and 12." - Make that "Yucatán Peninsula" and "August 12"
  • "It moved steadily west, despite being over warm waters," - What? Were the warm waters supposed to keep TD 1-C from moving west? :P
  • "One-C quickly weakened and lost deep convection." - This should somehow be merged with the next sentence.
  • "The depression dissipated on August 20 after briefly developing a closed circulation." - That part about briefly developing a closed circulation doesn't make sense. Or maybe it is in the wrong place?
  • "On August 30, the EPHC remarked that Juliette was downgraded into a depression, and two days later, Tropical Depression Juliette had dissipated over cold water." - Split this at the "two days later" part. Also, the first part should be reworded to "On August 30, the EPHC remarked that Juliette weakened to a tropical depression."
  • Can the stuff on Winnie being used instead of Wallis be removed please? I am requesting this as the 1980 NHOP (pg 19), 1981 (pg 23), 1982 (pg 23), 1983 (pg 24) National Hurricane Operational Plans all list Winnie as the name to be used in 1983 not Wallis.Jason Rees (talk) 01:21, 24 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "Traveling west-northwest, Two-C was initially in a favorable environment," - Again, don't refer to a TD like this. That's a number, not a name.
  • "Kiko began to explosively deepen, and by 1800 UTC, it intensified into a Category 3 hurricane on the SSHWS, bypassing both Category 1 and 2 status." - Because Kiko "explosively deepen[ed]", it isn't really necessary to mention that it skipped Category 1 and 2.
  • "EPHC had revised their forecast and were now expecting the storm to accelerate" ---> "EPHC revised their forecast and expected the storm to accelerate"
  • "Hurricane Kiko was responsible for 12 ft (3.7 m) waves along Newport Beach, California, resulting in more than 100 lifeguard rescues and rough seas." - Because there was 12 foot waves, the part about rough seas at the end is not needed.
  • "While the previous cyclone was dissipating, the next cyclone of the season was starting to form south of the Mexican coast." - Kind of redundant and unnecessary.
  • Moving west over warm waters, the disturbance was classified as a tropical depression about 90 mi (140 km) south of Acapulco early on September 6." - Reword this to "A disturbance moved westward across warm waters and intensified into a tropical depression about 90 mi (140 km) south of Acapulco early on September 6."
  • "the EPHC downgraded Lorena weakened into a Category 1 hurricane[2] as the storm was expected to emerge into the southern Gulf of California in about 48 hours and thereafter meander." - What does the part after the reference have to do with the EPHC downgrading Lorena to a Category 1? Separate this with either a period or semi-colon.
  • "Subsequently, Lorena attained its secondary peak with winds of 105 mph (170 km/h) while passing about 150 mi (240 km) south of Cabo San Lucas." - Why mention a secondary peak?
  • "combination of strong shear and very cold sea surface temperatures." - The part about "very cold sea surface temperatures" could mean -25°F. :P Was there a specific SST mentioned in the MWR? Even if there wasn't, don't use the term "very cold"
  • "which found no evidence of an eyewall, thus, Manuel was downgraded into a tropical storm[6] about 600 mi (970 km) south of San Diego." - What day did Manuel weaken to a tropical storm?
  • It says so in the sentence :P YE Pacific Hurricane 02:21, 24 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "Several hours later, Manuel reached a secondary peak wind speed of 90 mph (140 km/h)." - Again, why mention a secondary peak?
  • "Guadalupe Island[2] before dissipating at 1200 UTC that day.[6]" - We already know this was on September 20. So "that day" isn't needed.
  • "Along the northern portion Baja California, Manuel brought showers and high waves" - Why did you wikilink Baja California? That is like the 8th time you mentioned it.
  • "Several hours after Manuel dissipated, a tropical disturbance formed 200 mi (320 km)" ---> "Several hours after Manuel dissipated on September 20, a tropical disturbance formed 200 mi (320 km)"
  • "with winds of 50 mph (80 km/h), made its closet approach the Hawaii," - Narda had a closet? :P
  • "Campers were also ordered by police to find shelter on higher ground." - Where were these campers at? (answer: coastal parks)
  • "Tropical Octave was considered the worst flood in Pima County history." - Missing a word?
  • "It is also regarded as the worst tropical system to affect Arizona." - What is the "it"? The storm or Pima County? :P
  • "Around 3,000 buildings were destroyed due to Octave.[67] A total of 853 structures were destroyed by Octave while 2,052 others were damaged." - These two sentences are confusing and contradictory. There were around 3,000 buildings destroyed and a total of 853 structures were also destroyed? Something is missing here. Maybe for the first sentence you meant, "Around 3,000 buildings were impacted by Octave"?
  • "In Mexico, 12 in (300 mm) was reported in Altar." - 12 inches of what? Beer? :P Also, wikilink Altar.
    • No, human flesh :P Fixed. 02:21, 24 August 2013 (UTC)
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