Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/HMS Bulwark (1899)/archive1

TFA blurb review

edit

HMS Bulwark was one of five London-class pre-dreadnought battleships built for the Royal Navy at the end of the 19th century. Completed in 1902 and initially assigned to the Mediterranean Fleet as its flagship, the ship then served with the Channel Fleet in the English Channel and with the Home Fleet from 1907 to 1910, usually as a flagship. From 1910 to 1914, she was in reserve in the Home Fleet. Following the outbreak of the First World War in August 1914, Bulwark was attached to the re-formed Channel Fleet to protect the British Expeditionary Force en route to France. On 26 November 1914 she was destroyed by a large internal explosion with the loss of 741 men near Sheerness, probably caused by the overheating of cordite charges that had been placed adjacent to a boiler-room bulkhead. Little of the ship survived to be salvaged and her remains were designated a controlled site under the Protection of Military Remains Act 1986. (Full article...)

Just a suggested blurb ... edits are welcome. I know that being in the Channel Fleet doesn't guarantee that she was in the Channel 100% of the time, but we've got a (sometimes) annoying requirement that the country has to be mentioned early on, and "English Channel" seems like the least obtrusive way to meet the requirement. (People will scream if we say "British Royal Navy".) Thoughts? - Dank (push to talk) 15:27, 19 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

There's no mention of her squadron earlier in the blurb, so that has to go. Too short, now?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:51, 19 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
No that's great, 959 characters now. - Dank (push to talk) 15:54, 19 August 2019 (UTC)Reply