Wikipedia:WikiProject Tropical cyclones/Assessment/Hurricane Linda (1997)
Archived discussion. Current status: {{FA-Class}}
I intend to take this to FAC soon, so if possible I'd like a bit of feedback. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:31, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
- Here's my review. Strike out things when done:
- It was the fifteenth tropical cyclone, thirteenth named storm, seventh hurricane, and fifth major hurricane of the 1997 Pacific hurricane season. — it's been a while since I had seen one of those sentences... :P does that really have to be the second sentence of the lede?
- I moved that to the end of the paragraph, and to keep the season early on I put the year in the second sentence. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Subsequently, it explosively deepened, reaching winds of 185 mph (295 km/h) and an estimated central pressure of 902 mbar. — it trying to use explosive deepening in that order causes the grammar to be awkward. You can use "intensify explosively" for the same effect.
- I made it simpler by just saying "rapidly intensified", since people might be dubious over the term "explosive". ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- While near its peak intensity, Hurricane Linda passed very near the unpopulated Socorro Island, damaging meteorological instruments on the island. — are there any sources saying whether this was a direct hit or an indirect hit?
- MWR only says it passed very close to the island. Google doesn't help, either. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Though it did not, the hurricane produced light to moderate rainfall across the region, causing mudslides and flooding in the San Gorgonio Wilderness — I had to read this a few times to realize that the sentence is talking about California, as Linda was way out there in the ocean. Replacing "region" with "state" would make it clearer.
- I didn't particularly like the beginning of the sentence, so it now opens with "Though it did not hit the state". I hope that is clearer. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- The origins of Hurricane Linda are believed to have been from a tropical wave which moved off the coast of Africa on August 24; a tropical wave is an elongated low pressure area embedded within the easterly trade winds. — I'm not sure if a semicolon should be used there. Parenteses or em dashes would be better.
- I switched to an em dash. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- The wave tracked westward across the Atlantic Ocean and Caribbean Sea without development, — without developing?
- Sure. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- ...and it crossed Central America into the eastern Pacific Ocean. — link [[Central America and Pacific Ocean
- Sure. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- An area of convection, or thunderstorms, developed to the west of Panama on September 6, — it's Panamá, by the way, and also link to it.
- I linked to Panama. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- The broad system continued generally westward, and within three days of entering the basin a poorly-defined circulation formed. — link circulation per WP:WPTC/J
- There isn't one there, so I just did Atmospheric circulation. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Upon becoming a tropical cyclone, the depression was moving northwestward at 6–12 mph (9–19 km/h), — first instance of mph or km/h in the prose, so link to miles per hour and kilometres per hour
- partially under the influence of a mid- to upper-level low — jargon, link
- I changed to mid- to upper-level low. I don't think it's so jargony that I have to explain it beyond linking it. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- As upper-level outflow became well-established, the storm began to strengthen more quickly. — is the hyphen needed there?
- There are two hyphens, and I think both are needed. Upper needs to be connected to level. For well-established, that's the correct format. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- By September 11, an intermittent eye appeared, by which time Linda was estimated to have reached hurricane status. — [who?]
- Reworded a tad to include NHC. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Subsequently Linda began to rapidly intensify; its small eye became well-defined and surrounded surrounded by very cold convection.[1] — are there any sources indicating how small the eye was? (Maybe the storm wallets?) Was it a pinhole eye?
- I've checked thoroughly, and I didn't see anything like that. NHC is extremely evil in having discussions from 1988-1996, then 1998 to the present. I emailed them about the discussions, but I doubt much will come of it. I did find a forum which had a copy of the discussion at its peak (link), but I can't use it since from a forum/blog. FWIW, the advisory said Linda had an eye was 12 nm in diameter. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Its maximum sustained wind was estimated from 180–195 mph (290–315 km/h), based on using the Dvorak technique,[1] — plural in sustained winds
- OK. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Around that time, tropical cyclone forecast models suggested the hurricane would turn toward southern California,[1] due to an approaching upper-level trough expected to bring the storm northward.[6] — comma splice, and the sentence switch subjects in the middle; split it
- Split. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Instead, Hurricane Linda turned west-northwestward away from land, in response to a building ridge to its north;[1] moisture from the storm reached southern California.[3] — disjoint topics in the same sentence. Split into two sentences and add a transition in the middle.
- Split and added transition. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Hurricane Linda quickly deteriorated as it tracked toward cooler waters, weakening to tropical storm status on September 15 and to tropical depression status two days later, located about 1105 mi (1785 km) west of the southern tip of the Baja California peninsula. — insert "when" or "while" before located, as it's very choppy
- I split the sentences, hopefully that works. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- in one advisory, the NHC under forecast the winds of the hurricane by 115 mph (185 km/h).[7] — what is that supposed to mean?
- I added a dash after under. I thought it was clear that the NHC under-forecast how strong the hurricane would be by 115 mph. To make it even clearer, I changed it pretty much to how I just said. Hope that works. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- The maximum potential intensity for Linda, or the theoretical limit of its strength based on environmental conditions, was 880 mbar, which was 22 mbar lower than its actual intensity.[8] — is "or" needed there?
- I split the sentences. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Hurricane Linda occurred about a month after the similarly powerful Hurricane Guillermo. The El Niño event of 1997–98 brought warmer than normal water temperatures, which contributed to the high intensity of several storms. — rearrange the sentence for clarity and continuity. Talk about the '97 El Niño first, then talk about how it made storms stronger, and then talk about Guillermo.
- I switched it up, and I hope that works.
- The passage of Linda cooled the waters in the region, causing later Hurricane Nora to weaken in the area.[5] — "later" sounds weird there. I'd write, "causing Hurricane Nora to weaken in when it passed through the area on September 21."
- Alright, I changed it. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Hurricane Linda did not make landfall, although near peak intensity it passed very near the unpopulated Socorro Island.[5] — I'd say, "While Hurricane Linda did not make landfall, it passed near Socorro Island while its winds were near peak intensity." The wording in the current sentence is a bit choppy.
- Agreed, I like starting with "while". ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- The threat for high tides and strong winds in Mexico prompted officials to issue coastal flood warnings and close five ports. — which ports?
- I thought it would've been a bit needlessly long if I listed each port. Should I list each one? ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Waves up to 7.8 ft (2.4 m) were reported along the coastline, causing flooding in four Mexican states.[9] — which states?
- Same as above, I thought the prose would drag if I listed each one. Should I definitely list each one? ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- When Linda was forecast to execute its turn to the northeast, it was forecast to move ashore in Southern California as a weak tropical storm; — too many "forecast"s there.
- I changed the first one to "predicted". ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Were there any hurricane watches / warnings issued for the Mexican coast?
- None. Just flooding warnings. Think I should mention that? ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- In the event of flooding, workers cleaned storm drains and prepared sandbags for coastal properties.[10] — Wouldn't "to prepare for possible flooding" be better?
- Surely. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Are there any rainfall / isoyhet maps for the storm?
- None that I know of, but I'll ask DR. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Because no pressure was recorded during Linda's peak, Ava remains the strongest measured hurricane in the basin.[13][14][1] — non-hurricane readers might not understand why Linda's 902 mb are not "measured", so a sentence indicating that Linda's pressure is based on an estimate and Ava's pressure was sampled directly would be appropriate here.
- I think I clarified that sufficiently now. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Linda is one of only 12 Pacific hurricanes to reach Category 5 status.[13] — perfect place for a link to List of Category 5 Pacific hurricanes
- Why, I think you're right. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Add inHg's throughout.
- Bleh, OK. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- Somebody modify that horrible navbox at the end...
- I think you fixed that nicely :) ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk)
- It was the fifteenth tropical cyclone, thirteenth named storm, seventh hurricane, and fifth major hurricane of the 1997 Pacific hurricane season. — it's been a while since I had seen one of those sentences... :P does that really have to be the second sentence of the lede?
Thanks for the review. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:47, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
- No problem. Replying down here so it is visible:
- The issue with the under-forecast winds is that the concept itself is not clear. Maybe I should try rephrasing it: Did the NHC make a correction to the best track that increased wind speeds by 115 mph? Did they underforecast the intensity 72 hours into the future? 120 hours? 6 hours? That sentence is vague...
- You might be able to get by without listing the ports (depends on the FAC), but I would definitely list the states.
- Yes, you should mention that there weren't any tropical cyclone watches and warnings, and that there were only flood advisories.
- Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 08:13, 29 December 2008 (UTC)
- Alright, I got that. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:46, 29 December 2008 (UTC)
- Much better. Support A-Class. Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 22:00, 29 December 2008 (UTC)
- Alright, I got that. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:46, 29 December 2008 (UTC)