Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Paul Tibbets
- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Promoted - Peacemaker67 (send... over) 10:35, 3 December 2013 (UTC)
One of the most famous aviators of World War II Hawkeye7 (talk) 09:46, 30 October 2013 (UTC)
Support on prose per standard disclaimer. These are my edits. "claimed" casts doubt, but I don't know if that was the intent. "stores" feels a little jargony to me. - Dank (push to talk) 19:27, 31 October 2013 (UTC)
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- "...and then they moved to Iowa's capital Des Moines where he was raised..." consider more simply (perhaps): "...and then to Iowa's capital Des Moines where he was raised..."
- Er, that doesn't quite work. Tried a different wording. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:50, 5 November 2013 (UTC)
- Fair call, happy with the wording adopted. Anotherclown (talk) 09:54, 6 November 2013 (UTC)
- Er, that doesn't quite work. Tried a different wording. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:50, 5 November 2013 (UTC)
- "...In July 1942 the 97th became the first heavy bombardment group to be deployed as part of the Eighth Air Force to England...", consider "...In July 1942 the 97th became the first heavy bombardment group to be deployed to England as part of the Eighth Air Force..."
- The article jumps from Jan 1945 to Aug 1945 with Tibbetts now on Tinian. Just wonder if you might include a sentence about his squadron's deployment etc, to explain how he got there? Might add context. Anotherclown (talk) 09:40, 5 November 2013 (UTC)
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:50, 5 November 2013 (UTC)
- Added my spt now. Anotherclown (talk) 09:54, 6 November 2013 (UTC)
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:50, 5 November 2013 (UTC)
Support: G'day, I reviewed this article for GA. I have checked the changes made since then and am happy that it meets the A-class requirements. I have a few minor comments, though:
- could the citations to the "History of the 509th Composit Group" be converted to the sfn format for consistency of style?
- this seems awkward to me: "Having gained a bit of flight experience and some education at a military school and at college, Tibbets..." Perhaps something like this might work better: "Having been educated at a military school and college, where he had gained some flight experience, Tibbets..." Would that work? Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 09:36, 18 November 2013 (UTC)
- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.