Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/George Kistiakowsky

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Promoted Peacemaker67 (send... over) 09:49, 15 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

George Kistiakowsky

Nominator(s): Hawkeye7 (talk)

Presenting George Kistiakowsky, inventor of the edible explosive. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:24, 20 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support -- as ever, let me know if I misunderstood anything when I copyedited...

Structure/prose/content-wise, the only outstanding query I have is re. "Kistiakowsky was unhappy with the state of American knowledge of explosives and propellants. To remedy this, Conant established the Explosives Research Laboratory..." -- does this mean Kistiakowsky convinced Conant of the deficiency, and if so can we mention/cite that explicitly?
Image licensing looks good to me.
Sources look reliable and I couldn't see any obvious formatting problems.

Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 05:41, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Addressing the issues about the EBL: Dainton says: [Kistiakowsky] found that U.S. research in explosives and propellants was seriously deficient and this was reflected in lower quality weaponry. To remedy this he set up a special laboratory adjacent to the laboratories of the U.S. Bureau of Mines at Bruceton, Pennsylvania. (p. 383) But Noyes (written by Kistiakowsky and Connor) says: The Explosives Research Laboratory (ERL) originated with the decision of Drs. Conant and Davis, in the summer of 1940, to centralize the testing of explosives in one location and to place it in the hands of a staff which was already familiar with the subject. (p. 26) So I've re-worded to avoid giving this impression. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:48, 12 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support on prose per standard disclaimer. These are my edits. "Taylor and Kistiakowsky published a series of papers together, Encouraged by Taylor, he published a American Chemical Society monograph on photochemical processes.": Something's wrong, and I'm wondering if that can be tighter. - Dank (push to talk) 03:55, 7 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

A comma where there should be a full stop? Re-worded to: Taylor and Kistiakowsky published a series of papers together. Encouraged by Taylor, Kistiakowsky also published a American Chemical Society monograph on photochemical processes. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:48, 12 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support ~~Comments~~

This looks a little odd in its context: He watched an implosion weapon that was detonated in the Trinity test in July 1945.
- Re-worded. Better now? Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:50, 11 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Is there anything more available for the International Education Board? If not, then I suggest a redlink.
- Red linked. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:50, 11 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Why did Baratol need to be used?
- Explosive lenses require a fast and slow explosives to produce the required waveform. Added an explanation. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:50, 11 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
What did he do after the Manhattan Project and before working for Eisenhower?
- Changed the start of the first sentence of the "later life" section to Between his work for the Manhattan Project and his White House service, and again after his White House service ended. This is like it was before the GA review. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:50, 11 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - A little repetitive; how about "after he left the White House" to avoid the repetition?
    - Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:16, 12 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Use endashes in lieu of hyphens for all number ranges, including date and page ranges.
- Ran the script. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:50, 11 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Be consistent if you're going to use ampersands for multiple authors or not between refs and notes. You can add it to the cite book format with |lastauthoramp=1.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:18, 9 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- That's a new one. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:50, 11 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - I live to teach! Ref 31 uses an ampersand, most of the others don't.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:47, 12 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    - Interesting. Anyhow, it's just the citation style. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:16, 12 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      - While you are free to chose your citation style, you do need to be consistent.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 13:01, 12 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        I am. The footnotes are generated with the {{sfn}} template and the citations with the {{cite book}} template. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:10, 12 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        Then look up the documentation for the sfn template and figure out how to turn off the ampersand or add it to all of your multi-author works. I don't use it so don't know myself how to do that.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:45, 12 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        Two or three use an ampersand; four or more use et alii. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:27, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        et al is fine.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 10:50, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        Anyhow, I have made the change. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:15, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.