Wikipedia:Reference desk/Archives/Language/2016 April 20

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April 20

Essay

Hello Reference Desk. I am a student that is currently working on his last writing our assignment. Please take note that I have read and understand WP:HOMEWORK and do not believe this violates it. I have two requests: one, may I past my writing assignment in a user subpage of mine for others to view and two, may I request that people here give input and/or corrections? If so, I will put the assignment at User:Fritzmann2002/Essay. If not, thank you for your help. Fritzmann2002 18:30, 20 April 2016 (UTC)

Yes, and you could also put it here with a collapse box around it. Of course, if it's long you may not find many willing to read it all. StuRat (talk) 18:40, 20 April 2016 (UTC)

Thank you. I've placed it here. Fritzmann2002 19:02, 20 April 2016 (UTC)

Essay

Many people know how to shoot a basketball, but when some players step up to shoot a free throw they might not have the best form. The top teams in the National Collegiate Athletics Association (NCAA) have a percentage of about 75% from the line. Numerous missed shots are due mainly to poor form, which can be easily fixed. The best time to learn how to have this good form is during one’s early basketball years. This is so one can develop muscle memory. A free throw occurs in a basketball game when a player is fouled in certain situations. When a player is fouled, they may shoot one to three free throws depending on the occasion. The free throw line is fifteen feet away from the basket from junior high school up to professional basketball. For most professional players, this is a small distance that can easily be made without jumping or much effort. Even though a large percentage professional players have mastered the art of the free throw, many adolescents are still shooting with two hands and not even hitting the rim. There are many things to work on to improve one’s form. Arguably the most important of these is to make sure the shooter “follows through.” A common analogy for this is for the shooter to put his hand in the cookie jar after letting go of the ball. This means that once the ball is out of the shooter’s hands, he should continue to move his arm forward to guide the ball into the basket. Another effective way to increase one’s free throw percentage is to be consistent. The best way to do this is not to jump. Bending your legs is acceptable, but a player should be able to have enough power not to need to jump. The second way to be consistent is to continue to practice. A player who practices the same shot every time he steps up to the line will build muscle memory and increase his accuracy. The last, but certainly not least, important thing a shooter must remember while shooting a free throw is to be set and lined up to the basket. He should spread his feet about shoulder length apart to make sure that he is well-balanced. Lining himself up with the basket increases his chances of making the shot. This is because if he overshoots there is still a chance the ball will bank off the backboard and fall into the basket. If he tends to miss the basket to the right, he should move himself a few inches to the left to compensate for this. Combining these things will make a player’s free throw shooting better, greatly improving his average number of points in a game. Sometimes a free throw is the difference between winning and losing a game. If someone knows how to correctly shoot a free throw, he could greatly improve his team’s chance of winning the game. A player will make his free throw shot better than it already is by remembering to follow through, being consistent, setting one’s feet, and lining oneself up.

• The above is a short writing assignment on basketball free throws. μηδείς (talk) 21:16, 20 April 2016 (UTC)

The only actual error I can see immediately is in the first sentence of the third paragraph - it should be "a large percentage of professional players". Stylistically, you need to be more consistent between "he", "one" and "you" - the third paragraph has the right balance, but don't change between "one" and "he" in the same sentence. You have a couple of singular theys - if your English teacher disapproves of them, they should be removed; if not, replacing a few "he"'s with "they" might improve your Political Correctness rating. There's a (gasp) split infinitive in the last paragraph ("how to correctly shoot") - I personally would leave this as it is, but others might urge you vehemently to correct it. Punctuation is generally OK - it's an example of what H W Fowler calls "spot-plague", in that all your sentences are separated by full stops; a few semicolons (and perhaps some more conjunctions) might make it read more fluidly. Tevildo (talk) 21:36, 20 April 2016 (UTC)

• I see some extraneous words like "mainly" in "Numerous missed shots are due mainly to poor form, which can be easily fixed." and "be able to" in "a player should be able to have enough power not to need to jump."

• It seems like you are padding it to take up more space in places, like "The last, but certainly not least, important thing a shooter must remember while shooting a free throw is to be set and lined up to the basket." I would have written "While shooting a free throw, it's important to be set and lined up with the basket." (BTW, what dies "set" mean here ? If it is meaningless, it should go, too.)

• Should "free throw" be hyphenated, as "free-throw" ?

• I agree with the previous comment on not mixing "they", "he" and "one". I'd avoid "he", as it excludes girls, and "one", since it sounds entirely too formal for a discussion of basketball. I'd go with "you", "yourself", etc., or you could make it more personal with the first person form ("I", "me", "my", "myself"). StuRat (talk) 00:56, 21 April 2016 (UTC)

StuRat, Thanks for the advice. I'll definately take out those extra words, but as for your last point, my teacher is an extreme stickler about using "you" or "yourself" in papers. I think he'll be more likely to count me off for using those than having inconsistencies. Fritzmann2002 12:43, 21 April 2016 (UTC)

How about my first person suggestion then ? StuRat (talk) 15:15, 21 April 2016 (UTC)

• One thing I found that others haven't yet noted: consider the intended audience of the writing. Is this supposed to be read by basketball players? Basketball fans? People who are casually aware of the sport of basketball? People who have never heard of the sport? There's certain jargon in the paper which may need elaboration or further explanation, for example "the line" is commonly used to mean "the free throw line" in basketball, but if I wasn't fully aware of that, because I was only a casual fan of the sport, I may not know which line you were refering to. After all, there are a LOT of lines on a basketball court. Which line do you mean when you say "the line". Consider elaborating on or expanding terms like that and use formal names rather than shortened names or jargon so it is more accessible to a general audience. --Jayron32 18:20, 21 April 2016 (UTC)

• The essay should have a title. A good title raises interest and expectation and your choice of title is to make an honest early connection with your reader.
• The essay can be more clearly divided into two sections as follows. The first section explains the free throw in basketball i.e. what it is, when it occurs, who succeeds and who fails. The second section comprises all the training instructions that follow the sentence "There are many things to work on to improve one's form." I suggest that sentence should start a new paragraph.
• I don't understand "A common analogy for this is for the shooter to put his hand in the cookie jar after letting go of the ball."
• It's enough to write "a player should have enough power" without inflating that to "a player should be able to have enough power".
• I did not understand "the ball will bank off the backboard" but I would understand "the ball will bounce off the backboard".
• It's enough to write "a few inches to the left to compensate." without adding "for this." which is superfluous.
• Otherwise I agree with all the comments given above except the pettifoggery about the split infinitive. AllBestFaith (talk) 14:02, 23 April 2016 (UTC)

If I may answer the charge of pettifoggery: I think it's important for the OP to be aware of the split infinitive, even if they don't change it. This may be a defensible split infinitive, and I wouldn't want the OP to think that "how correctly to shoot" is an acceptable replacement, but, if their English teacher has traditionalist views on the subject, marks will be lost here. Replacing it with "how to shoot correctly" will keep the most hidebound of English teachers happy, even if the original version isn't strictly an error. Tevildo (talk) 15:33, 23 April 2016 (UTC)

the differance

Hellow every one. What is the differance between category:districts in India and the category:districts of India? If there is no differance please tell me what is the better one and i will merge the other category whith it. Regards---مصعب (talk) 22:50, 20 April 2016 (UTC)

See Wikipedia:Category names#Categories by country.—Wavelength (talk) 23:02, 20 April 2016 (UTC)

Please see Microcontent: How to Write Headlines, Page Titles, and Subject Lines.

—Wavelength (talk) 23:03, 20 April 2016 (UTC)

Category:Districts in India, Category:Districts of India and, heaven help us, Category:Districts of India by name should all be merged into one. IMO, the second is the best title, but (of course) the first has the most entries (677). Clarityfiend (talk) 23:53, 20 April 2016 (UTC)

Changing a category title takes mere seconds. -- Jack of Oz ^{[pleasantries]} 04:45, 21 April 2016 (UTC)

The request has been moved to Wikipedia:Categories for discussion to be moved by a bot although i can move it in few minutes by Help:Cat-a-lot if there is a Consensus.--مصعب (talk) 13:12, 21 April 2016 (UTC)

because there is no objection to the request i moved part of the category. The rest will be moved by a bot---مصعب (talk) 08:42, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

Category:Districts of India by name appears to be a category of categories of district-based lists (rather than a category of district articles). Should it be integrated with Category:Districts of India, so that each district article is the chief article of one of these district categories? —Tamfang (talk) 00:21, 23 April 2016 (UTC)

may be. I dont know the exact differance between the preveous categories that you have mentioned because i am not a native speaker. But in as a wikipedian i dont see an important differance in usage that may prevent integration between them--مصعب (talk) 09:40, 23 April 2016 (UTC)