Wikipedia:Peer review/William Cosby/archive1

It´s not an extense article. Despite of that, it´s cute and complete. I like it really. --AndresArce 17:58, 10 April 2006 (UTC)Andres Arce[reply]

Some comments:

Sorry but the page is in need of a good, thorough editing to give it a suitable polish.
The external links in the text need to be converted into inline citations. The pafe is in need of additional references, also using inline citations.
All double-dashes in the text "--" should be replaced by the — HTML tag.
Inconsistent use of parentheses for ages and dates. In some places the year is in parentheses and in others it is not. Could you just get rid of the parentheses, as appropriate? Also it usually isn't necessary to give both his age and the date. It seems like the date should be sufficient unless the age is also important for some reason. (Having both age and the year in parentheses is potentially confusing.)

My comments

Most of this article is very difficult to understand, some of it doesn't make any sense at all, for example I have no idea what this sentence is supposed to mean Also, Cosby only pledging would have been to get own wealth only, disregarding both public function and social improving of the Royal Governance. Much of the article reads like this, it really needs someone to thoroughly check the language.
The article claims he had six sons, but goes on to list three sons and three daughters, later the article talks of both male children. The article needs to be more consistent and needs a fact and reference check.
In 1711, Sir William Cosby (21) married Grace Montagu, British lady (sic) with connections at Buckingham Palace, as sister of George Montagu --Earl of Halifax--. I am unsure what her connections at Buckingham Palace means, the Royal Family bought the Palace in 1762 according to the Buckingham Palace article, so if it is a reference to Royal connections it is an anachronism. Also the link to Geroge Montagu seems to direct to the wrong person, it should be to George Montague, 1st Earl of Halifax rather than George Montagu.
This article needs a lot of work IMHO. The English needs to be thoroughly checked, it needs to be properly verified and it needs a fact and reference check. The internal wikipedia links need to be checked to ensure they point to the correct articles. Alun 06:27, 22 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]