Wikipedia:Peer review/Toshiba T1000LE/archive1

Toshiba T1000LE edit

I've listed this article for peer review because… This is my first article, and I wanted to know how I was doing at writing it. I also wanted to make sure I was doing everything properly, as in not breaking any rules, etc. Thanks, T1000LE Man (talk) 17:26, 3 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, T1000LE Man. You've done some good work on the article so far. It's well written, and everything on the article is referenced (although I'd suggest moving the first reference to the end of the first paragraph, since it can be used as a source for all that technical info). You can also look to similar articles - like Toshiba T1000, Toshiba T1200 and Toshiba T3100 - for tips on the article's formatting and aesthetic. I've also taken the liberty of doing a few things that you may want to keep in mind when creating articles in future, such as adding the topic's template to the bottom of the article, adding your article to the template and listing the article at relevant WikiProjects on the talk page. These sorts of things really boost the articles visibility - making it more likely that other users would pitch in. Otherwise, the work you've done so far is stellar. Homeostasis07 (talk) 01:12, 11 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, so... To start with, this article does not have a proper lede. The lede should be a quick and simple overview of the body that follows. In this case, however, the lede is filled with numbers and trivia that really belong in a separate Description section. The lede should also try to what makes this topic notable. In this case, the important quality of this laptop appears to be that it had a hard drive and a battery. That fact and the launch and discontinue dates would make a nice lede. Also, the topic of the article should be in bold in the lede. Next, anything list-like, like Specifications, should go below the body of the article. So move that down. Maury Markowitz (talk) 21:33, 20 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]