Wikipedia:Peer review/The Original Rabbit Foot Spasm Band/archive1

The Original Rabbit Foot Spasm Band

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it reads like an advert for the band, with lots of quotes from band members.

Thanks, DavidABalch (talk) 15:06, 23 January 2011 (UTC)

Possible areas of improvement:

• Much of the history section is quotes from reviews which should be moved into a separate section - and maybe some of them trimmed out.
• "the band has been growing in popularity" - citation needed, otherwise it's just an advert
• I'd say a Maida Vale session for Mark Lamarr is notable, but surely a list of all radio appearances isn't.

DavidABalch (talk) 13:58, 28 January 2011 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is interesting and generally clear but thin. That may be because the band is essentially local and has not received much critical notice outside of Oxford. If the band flourishes and becomes famous, it will become possible to find more widely varied sources to cite. If not, the article can still be improved. Here are suggestions.

• It's often helpful to look at featured articles to see what other editors have done with similar topics. You can find a list of these at WP:FA#Music biographies. See Rush (band), for example.

• The article seems self-promotional, perhaps not meeting the WP:NPOV guidelines, because all of the quotations and descriptions are honorific. Music audiences and critics commonly have a variety of opinions about any band. If possible, it would be good to cite critics who discuss the band's weaknesses (if any) as well as its strengths.

• The citations are incomplete. Citations to Internet sources should include author, title, publisher, URL, date of publication, and date of most recent access, if all of these are known or can be found. I find it helpful to use the "cite family" of templates found at WP:CIT to help me organize my citations. If you use these, don't mix them with other kinds of citation templates (like the Citation family also found at WP:CIT).

• Link Jump blues and "set" to Set (music) in the lede?

• Use double quotation marks instead of single except in the case of nested quotes; i.e., ‘Baron’ Stuart Macbeth should be "Baron" Stuart Macbeth.

• Newspaper and magazine titles should appear in italics.

• The references should be inserted in the text right after the terminal punctuation rather than before; e.g., "band played 119 gigs in 2009.[8]"

• Double terminal punctuation is a mistake. Simply removed the extra terminal period from things like "ukuleles and washboards.[3]."

• Song titles like "Nappy Head Rag" should be set off in quotation marks.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider commenting on any other article at WP:PR. I don't usually watch the PR archives or make follow-up comments. If my suggestions are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 18:44, 30 January 2011 (UTC)