Wikipedia:Peer review/The Carpenters/archive3
The Carpenters edit
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want more feedback on how I can better this article. I wish to get this to FA status, or at the very least, GA status.
Thanks, Cuyler91093 (Contribs) 06:40, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: I learned a lot about the Carpenters and have one of their songs going through my head right now. Obviously a lot of work has gone into the article, but it needs some polishing to get better. Specific comments for improvement:
- I am a bit worried about NPOV as the article seems to be very pro-Carpenters. There is not a critical reception section as such (although there is the The "Pepsodent image" section). While criticism of the band is mentioned, it is not quoted and there do not seem to be any real critical responses to their music quoted pro or con. I would look at the currents FAs and find one or more to use as a model article - Radiohead is, but I am not sure that is the best model.
- If their official group name was "Carpenters", why is this article called "The Carpenters" and not Carpenters (why isn't The Carpenters a redirect)?
- Is the article a biography of the Carpenter siblings or is it about the musical group? If it is just about the group, there seems to be too much detail post Karen's death. If it is about the siblings, there seems to be too little detail in places (how long was Richard on Quaaludes? When did Karen start to have problems with eating disorders)?
- Some details don't make sense - example at the end of the Trio and Spectrum section it says The new, yet temporary lineup for The Richard Carpenter Trio debuted on television on June 22, 1969.... After their television appearance, The Richard Carpenter Trio disbanded permanently, waiting to be picked up by a record label. then at the the start of the next section it reads Richard and Karen Carpenter signed to A&M Records on April 22, 1969 under the name "Carpenters". so when they were on TV the first time they were already signed to a contract, but after they were on TV they sat around and waited to be signed???
- Watch for repetition. John Bettis' role as a composer with Richard is mentioned several times, for example, or getting out of Phys Ed and into band, or Wes Jacobs in the initial trio. A copyedit would help.
- While the article is generally well cited, there are a number of places that lack citations: In the lead The Carpenters' melodic pop charted a record-breaking score of hit recordings on the American Top 40 and Adult Contemporary charts, becoming leading sellers in the soft rock, easy listening and adult contemporary genres. (extraordinary claims) or the whole last paragraph of the 1965-1968 section is uncited (which smacks of original research without a ref) or at least five paragraphs in the late 1970s section.
- I would move the logo section into the "Carpenters" section (which could be organized by album)
- References need to be cited consistently - internet refs need title, publisher, author (if known) and date accessed - see WP:CITE. YouTube is not generally a WP:RS