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Wikipedia:Peer review/Ted Kennedy/archive1

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Ted Kennedy

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Article on an influential politician, is currently a GA, requesting general feedback to boost it to FA level. Thanks. -- Wikipedical 05:45, 19 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

My 2 cents:

  • Not too necessary, but you may want to find a citation for the first line: "Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy (born February 22, 1932) is the senior United States Senator from Massachusetts and a member of the Democratic Party." Just find a list of democratic senators, it shouldn't be too hard. FA review will see the citation, and they'll like the article at the start.
  • "In office since November 1962, Kennedy is presently the second-longest serving member of the Senate, after Robert Byrd of West Virginia" This is a big claim, citation please. Again, it shouldn't be too hard to find.
  • "and is one of the most influential and enduring icons of his party." Watch out. Such large claims lead to WP:PEACOCK violations. For such a large claim, again a citation should be found.
  • P.S. I'm a big pain about citations.
  • "He is known for being a skillful backroom negotiator who occasionally works with Republican legislators and presidents to reach an acceptable compromise." This is rumour, remove it or verification/citation should be added.
  • on the first line of the new section, address him as "Ted Kennedy" Not just "Kennedy."
  • "he was caught cheating on his final examination in a Spanish class" Citation, please.
  • "Kennedy then entered the U.S. Army for two..." The 'then' interupts flow.
  • "(won by Yale 21 to 7)" Say "(Yale won, 21 to 7)."
  • "Kennedy caught Harvard's only touchdown pass." Big boast, citation please.
  • Upon the second paragraph in family and youth, you switch tenses.
  • In the career opening section, you may want to just cite something as an authoritive proof that these are the commities he's on.
  • "Kennedy's career in the Senate has frequently attracted national attention." Broad claim, citation please.

This is all I can do at this time, drop a line when you're ready for more. Remember, the reason that I'm asking for so many citations is that this article makes broad, swooping claims, which FA review hates when unsourced. Evan(Salad dressing is the milk of the infidel!) 00:56, 20 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

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