Sergei Bodrov, Jr. edit
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm not going to nominate this article to good or featured articles. I simply want to know your opinion about the language in this article: is it good or poor and does it need improvement.
Thanks, --16:38, 6 August 2008 (UTC)Slav9ln (talk)
Ruhrfisch comments: While a lot of work has gone into this, it is nowhere near FA quality and needs some work for GA. Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.
- The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way. The first sentence is typically the most important / notable informaion about the subject - I think that would be the fact that he was the lead actor in several films, not just his father. Please see WP:LEAD
- Article needs a major copyedit - the first sentence in the lead has no verb, the last sentnece of the lead has no punctuation, and there are phrases like In his childhood he liked to be alone and "successfully handled with himself"[2]. that make no sense and seem to be poor translations (what is an "ashman" too?) Ask at WP:PRV for copyedit help.
- Article does not follow MOS:QUOTE - it uses {{cquote}} where it should use {{blockquote}}, but block quotes are only for quotes that are at least four lines long. Most of these quotes should just be in the text.
- Refs are a mess. Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase. Article needs more references, for example whole paragraphs are uncited. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
- Refs need to give enough info that an interested person could look up the source and check it or learn more. New York Times article needs date of publication, author, page. Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 12:59, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
Much thanks for your help! I'l try to follow your advice where it's possible. But I haven't understood what should be done at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog. Thank you --Slav9ln (talk) 13:39, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
My main purpose was to know the quality of translation, the level of language used in article: if the language is poor or rather good, if it needs improvement.--Slav9ln (talk) 14:03, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
- The quality of the translation appears to be fair to poor - as noted there are places that just don't make sense in English, maybe they would if I spoke Russian. It definitely needs improvement. The backlog is a list of other requests for peer review that have not yet been commented on. There is no obligation to do so, but if you see something there and want to comment on it, feel free to. That is how I found your article to review. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 23:11, 17 August 2008 (UTC)