Wikipedia:Peer review/Seattle Mariners/archive1

Seattle Mariners

I'm hoping to get this article to good article status pretty soon, and I think it's almost there. I would appreciate any input anyone has. The article had some NPOV and lack of referencing issues in the past, but I think I've dealt with those; however, there may well still be instances of either or both that I and other editors have missed.

Thanks a lot for your time,

Elmer Clark 05:13, 28 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR _t 14:45, 28 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

A few comments

I think the quick facts section could be reworked. "Founded", "Playoff Appearances", and "Local Television" can be directly found elsewhere in the article. I think the other facts could be worked into the article without having to resort to just listing them. It kind of reminds me of a trivia section where random facts are just grouped together.

Done Facts that weren't already within the main body redistributed throughout and quick facts section removed entirely.

I don't think this statement should be included without a citation: "Many die-hard Mariners fans can still recite the Voice of the Mariners and game commentator Dave Niehaus' call on the play". Maybe find a better way to lead into the call.

Done Reworded, ref added

The listing of Mariners' radio stations seems excessive.

Done Split to List of Mariners Radio Network stations

The writing style in some sections could be improved. - Mattingly23 16:28, 28 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Could you elaborate a little? I'll give it a thorough look-over sometime today or tomorrow, but if there are any sections you found particularly poorly written, please let me know.

Thanks a lot for your comments. I think excising the station list and the quick facts section made a significant positive difference. -Elmer Clark 20:28, 4 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]