Wikipedia:Peer review/Romances/archive2

Romances

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've listed a PR months ago and managed to get the article to B-class. I would like an extensive and thorough list of the article needs in order to reach at least A-class. EDIT: My stance is now that I would like a thorough and extensive list of improvements that needs to be at least be nominated for FA.

Thanks in advance! DJ Magician Man (talk) 16:24, 19 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comment Neither wikiproject support the A-class rating. Tbhotch* ^{۩ ۞} 22:07, 19 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Very well then, in that case, an extensive list of improvement need to achieve FA will do. DJ Magician Man (talk) 23:40, 19 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this intersting article, here are some suggestions for improvement with an eye to FAC.

A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. There are many FA album articles at Category:FA-Class Album articles which might be useful models. Rufus Does Judy at Carnegie Hall may be a useful model as it is an article on an album of cover songs of standards.
Does he really cover songs "from the History of Latin America"? When I think of the History of Latin America, Besame Mucho is not the first thing that comes to my mind. Also the oldest song is only from 1940, which is not that old compared to all of Latin AMerican history. I would say something more like he covers Latin standards dating back to the 1940s...
Since this is the English Wikipedia, I think the names of songs in Spanish should translated into English somewhere - does not have to be in the lead, but perhaps at first mention in the article?
There are a lot of little typos and grammatical rough spots - for example Manzanero is spelled "Manzero" in at least two places.
Or here there is a missing word In December 1996, Miguel held a [press] conference in Buenos Aires, Argentina, where he announced his desire to record a third Romance album with the possibility of working with Manzanero and Juan Gabriel; he also announced his intention to sing in Italian and Portuguese.[7]
I do not understand the need for the next sentence: The following day, Manzero expressed interest in the production of the album.[8] He just "announced his desire to record" the album the day before, what was different here? Why does this sentence need to be in the article / what does it add?
Background says he wanted to record in Portugese and Italian too, but it is not clear to me if he did or not on this album
Which orchestra in LA are the guest musicians from?
Unclear timeline The album was released on August 12, 1997 in the United States. It reached No. 2 on the Billboard Top Latin Albums chart on August 23, 1997.[19] An event was held in New York City to commemorate the release of the album.[20] A week later it reached No. 1, a mark it was able to hit for a total of eleven non-consecutive weeks. When was the event held in New York City (Aug. 12? Aug 23? Some other day?) When is "a week later" then?
hendecuple is not a well known word - could it be linked?
Add time to some stats - for example [By October 2010,] the album has sold over 4.5 million copies worldwide.[33]
I would also add the year the statement was made to According to Pollstar, it was one of the "Top 20 All-Time Grossing" tours in the history of music.[41]
The tour could use more general information - how many concerts were performed? Any idea of how many tickets were sold or how much it grossed?
There are two fair use sound clips in the article, but I am not sure that they currently meet WP:NFCC. There is no real discussion of either song in the article - I think there needs to be more description of the songs to justify the fair use of the sound clips.
The FA criteria have two items that may be a problem at FAC. One is comprehensiveness - the article is fairly short, which is not a problem in and of itself, but may be an indication that more material could be included. I would look at the model articles to see what (if anything) other articles cover that is not here or not covered in as much detail.
The other FA criterion that would definitely be an issue is 1a, a professional level of English prose. This has decent prose overall, but also has lots of places that could be polished. A few examples follow.
- The shows comprise of Miguel performing dance pop, bolero arrangments, and brief mariachi segments for two-and-a-half hours.[42] Perhaps The shows featured Miguel performing dance pop, bolero arrangements ...)
- Robert Hilburn of the Los Angeles Times wrote a more optimisitc review of the concert where he described the show ... (positive would be better than optimistic)
A copyedit would be very useful.
Is it really necessary to list all of the string players in the credits? If it is, could the strings be combined by instrument (so list all of the violins, then all the violas, then cellos, etc.)
Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:22, 7 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for your input Ruhrfisch, I will get in touch when I feel I have addressed the problems you posted. DJ Magician Man (talk) 00:29, 15 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Copied from my talk page Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:39, 17 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Ruhrfisch! Thank you again for the review of the article for Romances. Since your comments on the review, here are the changes that I have done:

I took your advice and noted that the covers date back to the 1940s.
I've translated the songs mentioned in the article.
I removed the sentence: "The following day, Manzero expressed interest in the production of the album.[8]"
I'm not sure to reword the sentence, but I put "original intention" rather than just "intention" since the final work did not include songs performed in either Italian or Portuguese.
I had a little trouble finding the name of the orchestra, because the article was written in Spanish, so I had look for the name in the Spanish Wikipedia a came across the name.
I did my best to fit the commercial release in chronological order.
I added a timestamp for both the total sales (as of 1999) and for Pollstar (1997)
From Romances Tour article, Miguel did 79 concerts which I added. While that article also mentions the total gross of the tour, that statement is not sourced which I'm not sure whether I should include it or not. What I find was that Miguel's shows in the National Auditorium in Mexico was the highest grossing venue by a Latin artist of the year (sourced by Billboard).
I removed the two audio samples from the article since those songs were not covered much in the article. Instead, I put a sample of the lead "Por Debajo de la Mesa" since it is mentioned numerous times.
For comprehensiveness, I followed the article body from WikiProject Albums. After looking at it and some other FA-class Album articles, I'm still not sure what I'm missing (some FA-class Albums are just as long, some even a bit short than Romances).
Hendecuple does not have an article, so I'm not sure what to do here.
There is something else I would like to ask and it is about the review from the Los Angeles Times. See what I found was not a review of the album, but rather a response to a review of the album. The problem is, I could not find the original review mentioned in the response and the article itself does not mention why exactly he disagrees with it. I've only kept it still to maintain neutrality of the article, but I'm not sure if it is helpful.
If nothing else needs to be done, then I will have the article copy-edited.

Thank you for you time. DJ Magician Man (talk) 18:50, 16 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Second look - I only looked at my original PR comments and yours above.

I still think that " in which Miguel covers songs from the history of Latin America which dates back to the 1940s." in the lead sounds very odd (especially with the link to History of Latin America) I think I would say something like in which Miguel covers Latin songs from 1940 to 1978. or something similar.
I would express he also announced his original intention to sing in Italian and Portuguese. as something like he also expressed an interest in singing in Italian and Portuguese,[17] although the album's songs are all in Spanish.
I do not have a specific idea in mind for expansion - if you have looked at models and believe this follows them, that is OK
I am OK with the statememnts from the LA Times in the article.
This still needs a copyedit.

Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:43, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Well looks like everything else has been taken care of. The only thing that needs to be done is the copy-editing which I will request at the Guild. Wish me luck. DJ Magician Man (talk) 06:23, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]