Wikipedia:Peer review/Robert College/archive1

Robert College

Any comments on the layout and the text are appreciated.--Maestro 21:46, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Free Smyrnan

These are my suggestions for further improvements in the article (version: 117619187):

Lead: Most prestigious/most selective. These claims need to be cited either here, or further down the article from WP:NPOV sources or taken out. I would note that two universities that could make similar claims Harvard and MIT and prep schools that have similar stature in the US, Phillips Exeter Academy, Stuyvesant High School do not have these claims on their WP articles. For most selective, perhaps entrance statistics could provide support, though I have no idea how most prestigious could be measured or made encyclopedic.

You may also wish to shorten the lead, and move the history that is present in the lead to the History section.

Mention the grades rather than call it a "high school", the definition of which changes according to country. As far as I know, it still has a boarding section, which should be mentioned in the lead, as well as co-educational status.

Rather than call it independent and have to explain in a footnote, call it private. Private/public is a well understood distinction, independent/dependent is murky.

Co-educational status: This should be mentioned in the lead as well as developed further as a subsection in the history. The time of co-educational changes is always interesting for older schools and Robert College's merger with the American school for girls is of significance.

History: Can be and needs to be developed much further. Which sultan was it that gave the irade? The school has status specified by the Lausanne treaty. Musurus Pasha's estate is now part of the campus. The school had waves of different influences and ethnicities educated - e.g. the first couple of cabinets of Bulgaria were mostly educated there. Split into Bosphorus University can also be mentioned here. There is enough history of RC to expand into a major article.

The major events section looks too lopsided towards the Republican period. However, I would caution against making the history section too listy. More prose/less listing seems to be a good thing.

List of Presidents: Aside from notable presidents, do we need every headmaster listed? I notice a lot of red links there. Unless there are plans to provide bio's, separate articles for every headmaster (meaning they would be notable), de-link the red links.

Curriculum: very demanding program, take out POV

A list of every single elective given is unnecessary and makes it read like a school catalog. Highlight what is special/distinguishing about the curriculum w.r.t. a regular college preparatory school internationally, or a Turkish high school.

Higher education: It can be inferred, though not specifically mentioned that college placement is close to 100%. Should be mentioned and cited at the beginning of this section. Last year - what year is that? Statistics should be cited, one per sentence seems like a good idea, esp. in this section.

Extracurricular activities: As of 2006, Robert College has nearly 100 clubs including the sports and publication club, which may be found below. The school has a rich history of extra-curricular activities and sports. - awkward and repetitive. Robert College has a rich history of extra-curricular activities and sports, with nearly 100 student activity clubs as of 2006.

Student council: Why do we have a student council paragraph, which reads like a student council intro from practically every good high school? If there is something specific about it, mention it in the lead.

Publications: Should be named something like student publications if it is to be kept, for a casual reader expects something other than the student newspaper from that section title. Neither of the three articles I used for comparison (Harvard, MIT, Phillips Exeter Academy have such a section, but Stuyvesant High School does, which can be used as an example. If the significance of this section is to illustrate the depth and breadth of student activity, perhaps should be merged into a paragraph in the relevant section.

Move the alumni newsletters and such to an Alumni section.

Athletics: Expand into something other than a list of names of sports. Facilities, sports teams, championships, statistics (what % of student body is a member of a sports team, is the # of sports teams significant?)

Music clubs: The music club being 2nd largest in RC does not mean much to anyone who is not a graduate. Is there anything otherwise notable about it?

Extracurricular activities in general: IMO, this entire section needs to be rewritten to make it less like a school catalog. 3-4 well structured paragraphs would convey the information that this is a school that has a very large amount of extracurricular activities available to the student body and mention a few interesting details, rather than the current format.

Festivals - change the format of this section so that every festival is not a very stubby subsection. There is enough material for a paragraph, not enough for a subsection. The FAF begs the question what the largest festival for high schools in Turkey is. Also, 2000 people come, from where? Do other schools visit? Is it local community? Is it alumni?

Campus - something in the lead about the section about history of campus grounds instead of as a footnote. When was this campus established? When did RC move into it? Again, too much subsectioning in this section. Some details/statistics/capacities about facilities can be given, sports facilities in particular. Labs - capacity? Biology Museum has a rarest collection of what? Expand.

Bosporus Beetle - what a wonderful tidbit! Was it discovered on campus? What is the taxonomy for it? Expand.

Tuition - are scholarships/financial aid available? If so, what percentage of the student body receives financial aid? Cite most expensive school claim, or make it encyclopedic by providing dates and more statistics.

Notable Alumni - change this to a section on Alumni and provide at least a paragraph about the alumni and give the link to List of Notable Alumni. Remove the very POV quote, utilizing the facts in the quote. Alumni associations / newsletters, foundations etc can go here. Also, quite a number of RC alumni support their school later, providing endowments, buildings etc. Some statistics?

Notable faculty - if it is to be kept as a list, provide dates they were faculty and subjects they taught. No non-Turk is going to assume that Tevfik Fikret would have taught Turkish literature. Better to form into 2-3 paragraphs I think. Mebrure Gönenç is an alumna not an alumnus. (female, alumna, female plural, alumnae)

References and notes - very few non-affiliated sources are used. Sources are not formatted strictly per WP:CITE - take a look at Hrant Dink for strict use of refs. Non-English sources should use {{tr icon}}.

Books on RC - Use of citation format here would be nice as well. Perhaps you can use some of this bibliography to flesh out the article. I am sure that RC also gets mentioned in a number of works specifically not on RC. Should the title be changed to include these and list a few of these?

See-also - this section should be for only those WP articles that are not linked in the main body of the article.

Endowment? - Does the school have an endowment or affiliated foundation that provides monetary support to the school?

General - this subject has FA potential. For a high school article that is FA, take a look at Stuyvesant High School. I have left GA review notes on the Talk:Robert_College page and have placed it on hold, pending those issues specific to GA. Good luck! Regards, --Free smyrnan 06:12, 25 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]