Wikipedia:Peer review/Provincetown Players/archive1

Provincetown Players

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…I am editing what was a stub article as an assignment in a Theater History course. I am particularly eager to feedback on 1) the tone and syntax of the existing text 2) questions the article raises for the reader 3) areas that seem to be overlooked (if the peer reviewer has knowledge of the subject) 4) advice on citations and the breadth of reference material.

Thank you for your help in improving this article. EDOrt (talk) 06:15, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Peer Review

• Overall, the article is clear and concise. However, I do think that some of the syntax reduces the clarity. There are a few sentences that are way too long for readability sake. For example: "In September 1916 before leaving Massachusetts, the group met and formally called themselves The Provincetown Players and decided to produce a season in New York City and Jig Cook was elected president of the newly constituted organization." This could easily be split into 2-3 sentences. Also, be mindful of your use of commas. There are several places where they would aid the reader. The article is also missing a period at the end of the last sentence of the "Founding" section.
• As for citations and referencing, as in a citation, every time a play or periodical is mentioned, the title should either be italicized or underlined, not put in bold. You also need a citation at the end of the "Founding section.
• "Cook and Glaspell took a sabbatical in Provincetown during the 1919-20 season." I found this sentence confusing. Did Cook and Glaspell go to Provincetown during the 1919-20 season, or did they take a sabbatical from the group?
• I'm curious what other information you plan to add to the article. It seems to drop off after 1924, when you state a new phase began. I hope you plan to discuss this change, and the end of the group.
• Speaking to neutrality, O'Neill seems to have taken a prominent position in the article. Try to incorporate the other group members' contributions more.
• I think there are more in-text citations you can add to aid the reader. For example, I know Strindberg has a page that you could link.

Thank you for tackling this page! I can't wait to see where it goes. Jcbjaw12 (talk) 12:59, 9 April 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Mcraab123 (talk) 21:52, 15 April 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for taking on this article. Your contributions have improved the page enormously.

The lead section is clear. I agree with Jessie that you might consider shortening some sentences for even more clarity. The way you have chosen to structure the article makes the information easy to digest.

Wikipedia likes section headings to have the first letter of the first word capitalized with the others lower case, except for proper nouns. I went ahead and changed those for you.

I would like to learn about the company's closure, and maybe a word on legacy. Is a picture of the dome available on the Commons? An image would complement your prose description. Consider adding a list of productions for each season. Vivian Beaumont Theater has a bullet list of productions under a production history section. That, or a chart might be a way to address the neutrality consideration Jessie mentioned.

As far as citations go, it's good to keep in mind how readers might use your article. I often use Wikipedia as a springboard for other research. When I do that, I go right to the References. Any citations you can add are helpful. For example, consider citing the second sentence in your lead section where you give the number of seasons. Rather than thinking of citations as a way to check up on the author, think of them as doorways to further research for the reader. I am trying to take that advice myself!

You make good use of hyperlinks to other Wikipedia articles. Keep looking for those. I noticed that Lewis Wharf has a Wikipedia page. That article isn't long, but a link to it would give readers an idea of the activity around the neighborhood.

Are there ISBN numbers or links for the selections listed under Further reading?

I wish you the best as you continue editing! I look forward to seeing how it turns out. Mcraab123 (talk) 21:52, 15 April 2015 (UTC)