Wikipedia:Peer review/No Way Out (2004)/archive2

No Way Out (2004) edit

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because after failing FAC twice earlier in the year, I want to send it back to FAC to make sure it passes. To do this, I want a peer review to see any problems that stand out. Hopefully third time is a charm. :)

Thanks, S_RX 02:06, 23 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Giggy, images edit

Ideally, the old versions of Image:2004NoWayOut.jpg would be deleted. You can use {{fair use reduced}} (check if you need to subst it, I'm not sure).

Other images seem fine. Ping me and I'll give some more comments at some point. Giggy (talk) 02:15, 23 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done, thanks I'll hope I can get more comments.--S_RX 02:19, 23 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The image of Rikishi: The caption says, "Rikishi, who teamed up with Scotty 2 Hotty to take on and Shaniqua." Something is missing/wrong here. iMatthew (talk) 09:45, 23 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done.--S_RX 10:57, 23 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

ThinkBlue's comments edit

In the Eddie/Brock feud, why is "Champion" capitalized?
- Fixed.--S_RX 00:04, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Add an exclamation point after "SmackDown" in the Triple Threat info.
- Fixed.--S_RX 00:04, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
In the Rey/Chavo feud, "Crossroads" is not suppose to be italicized.
- Haha, you mean "Crossing Borders".--S_RX 00:04, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
In the Main event matches section, move the image of Chavo to the right, per here.
- done--S_RX 00:04, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
This is me, but "619" and the "FU" still are moves used by Rey and Cena; "called" ---> "calls"?
- Yeah, but we are trying to keep the article in past tense.--S_RX 00:04, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
In the Aftermath, the Bash '04 has an article created.
- Fixed.--S_RX 00:04, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Same section, the WWE title is not the world heavyweight title.
- I'm referencing the WWE title as a "World Heavyweight Championship."
Same section, no need repetition of full name, ex: John Cena.
- Fixed.--S_RX 00:04, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
If I had to do it, so do you; "WWE" ---> "World Wrestling Entertainment".
- done.--S_RX 00:04, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Here are my comments. -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 23:51, 23 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks.--S_RX 00:04, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Like always. :) -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 19:16, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Nikki's comments edit

Found some time to review and copyedit this. ;)

"Including its promotional buildup, No Way Out grossed over $450,000 ticket sales from an attendance of approximately 11,000 and received 350,000 pay-per-view buys." - I think the wording of sentences similar to this has been discussed before, but I'm too busy to look it up, so I'll just give my thoughts: it reads terribly. Did it gross money during the promotional buildup? Or did the opposite occur (spending money to promote)? The sentence would read better without the clause before the comma (beginning the sentence with No Way Out) and still retain the 'intended' meaning.
- I just removed the entire first part, so it still begins with NWO and retains the intended meaning.--S_RX 02:27, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"The name of a wrestler's character was not always the person's birth name, as wrestlers often use a stage name to portray their character." - This sentence seems out of place. I'd say that can be figured out by the name linking. Did someone tell you to add that as part of a review?
- Well it was featured on The Great American Bash (2005) article.--S_RX 02:27, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - So? I don't like it there either. Nikki311 22:48, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    - Removed.--S _R X 23:14, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Sit there and be the bitch that you are" - This needs a punctuation mark of some kind, either a "." or "..."
- Added "..."--S_RX 02:27, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"The Big Show used his body size to his advantage" - Might be good to give some specifics here just for the visual imagery
- Added description.--S_RX 02:27, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've watchlisted this page, so I'll know when you've replied. Nikki311 02:16, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your help, I know you are busy and it means a lot for you to take the time to peer review and copyedit the article, thanks so much :)S_RX 02:27, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]