Wikipedia:Peer review/National Black Chamber of Commerce/archive1

I'm a new editior and have evolved a couple of other articles. This is the first one that I have made signficant changes to and for. Any constructive comments and criticisms are welcome. Thanks.LtlKtytalk | contribs 04:08, 28 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks!--LtlKtytalk | contribs 04:20, 1 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

AnonEMouse

edit

The article seems a bit bland, doesn't give interesting details on the organization.

  • See Wikipedia:Manual of Style about using quotation marks rather than italics for quotes.
  • If it's the US National ... how does it have chapters in Brazil, etc?
  • "The official address can be found in the Articles of Incorporation on their website." Either give it or not, don't refer to something that can be spelled out in the same length.
  • What's it actually do? Give some examples with citations. Surely some of its actual work has been described in sources.
  • Who founded it? Why?
  • Any controversies?
  • What are its relations with other black organizations, other CoC's, etc?
  • What are some notable businesses it helped, and how?
  • Does it get involved in politics? How?
  • The Sponsorship section doesn't seem worth its space. Can it be compressed? Don't compress until fleshing out the above, though. Also it's a bit vague: "may continue" "was scheduled to".
  • Citation 4 seems to start with a period: '. "Exxon Mobil Corporation...'

--AnonEMouse (squeak) 16:15, 6 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you - I'll follow up on these--LtlKtytalk | contribs 17:11, 9 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]