Wikipedia:Peer review/Missundaztood/archive1

Missundaztood

After a major expansion and a succeeded GAN I'm trying my hand into taking this to FAC. Looking forward to any feedback and suggestions for improvements.

Thanks in advance!, TabooMatters94 (talk) 12:28, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

STANDARD NOTE: I have added this PR to the Template:FAC peer review sidebar to get quicker and more responses. When this PR is closed, please remove it from the list. Also, consider adding the sidebar to your userpage to help others discover pre-FAC PRs, and please review other articles in that template. Thanks! Z1720 (talk) 15:31, 1 August 2022 (UTC)

@TabooMatters94: This has been open for more than a month, but it has not received any comments. Are you still interested in receiving feedback? Z1720 (talk) 22:16, 4 September 2022 (UTC)

@Z1720: Yes, I'm still interested in receiving feedback, although it's gonna take a while until someone will comment. – TabooMatters94 (talk) 20:21, 5 September 2022 (UTC)

@TabooMatters94: I suggest that you post requests for feedback on the talk pages of Wikiprojects that this is attached to, in order to attract people who are interested in this topic. Z1720 (talk) 20:25, 5 September 2022 (UTC)

Sebbirrrr

• Per WP:INFOBOXREF, refs shouldn't be placed in the infobox.
• The pop rock genre isn't sourced anywhere in the body.

It's mentioned in the "Other collaborations". Should I add that in the "Music style" too? – TabooMatters94 (talk) 10:32, 11 September 2022 (UTC)

Yes and use the Jefferson source per WP:EXPLICITGENRE. Sebbirrrr (talk) 13:43, 11 September 2022 (UTC)  Done

• Apologies if this is annoyingly nit-picking, but Pink is called a singer-songwriter, although she didn't contribute to two tracks on Missundaztood (and it seems like she's more known as a singer than a singer-songwriter)
• Quite a lot of passive voice (eg: was produced, was involved, etc.) which should be changed
  •  Not done I've spotted some repetition of it especially in the "Marketing and sales" and "Accolades" sections. Sebbirrrr (talk) 13:43, 11 September 2022 (UTC)
    •  Partly done Tried to do change some more but there's really not much to do, it's not that much of a big deal using more passive voice when talking about the release especially. Most articles incorporate that. – TabooMatters94 (talk) 16:11, 11 September 2022 (UTC)
• Since you've specified the year for the Perry picture, I recommend doing the same for the Sambora and Aguilera ones
• "a song entitled" → "a song titled"
• "bestselling" → "best-selling"
• "generally-positive" → "generally positive"
• See WP:RECEPTION on how to improve the critical reception section so that it's not full of variations of "said". Sebbirrrr (talk) 13:43, 11 September 2022 (UTC)

 Later Thanks for the suggestion, I'll work on that in the following days. – TabooMatters94 (talk) 16:11, 11 September 2022 (UTC)

• Personnel should be renamed to "Credits and personnel" as the locations are also mentioned
• Per WP:PERSONNEL, the A&R, legal and business people shouldn't be included as they didn't contribute directly to the album
• The Hung Medien charts shouldn't be used for all-time charts as they constantly change with album releases
• Record labels shouldn't be used as a source (falls under WP:PRIMARY) as they can easily inflate sales. Is there a reliable secondary source for the worldwide sales?

Do you think it would be better to use this source then? – TabooMatters94 (talk) 10:32, 11 September 2022 (UTC)

Yes, that source is better. But now you should change the sales to 12,000,000 and write in the note that they're as of November 2003. Sebbirrrr (talk) 13:43, 11 September 2022 (UTC)  Done

• Make sure Missundaztood is italicized for every ref
• I don't think you should include the access-date for this citation format

Hope this helps! Sebbirrrr (talk) 18:09, 10 September 2022 (UTC)

@Sebbirrrr: Thank you so much for the suggestions! Got everything done, except where noted. – TabooMatters94 (talk) 10:32, 11 September 2022 (UTC)

@TabooMatters94: I've replied to some of your comments and left one more about the reception section! Sebbirrrr (talk) 13:43, 11 September 2022 (UTC)

@Sebbirrrr: This sould be alright now. Please take another look and tell me if there's anything that I can do. – TabooMatters94 (talk) 16:11, 11 September 2022 (UTC)

@TabooMatters94: Great work! I've done some minor editing if it's okay with you. I removed the "becoming Pink's best-selling album" bit as that's not given by the source and she only released three albums by 2003. As for the passive voice, I've seen that its use is highly discouraged for FAs. I'm not saying that all of it is bad, but you should try to reduce it as much as you can. Indeed, make sure to check WP:RECEPTION as that is a significant section for every album article. Sebbirrrr (talk) 16:57, 11 September 2022 (UTC)

@TabooMatters94: It has been over a month since the last comments. Are you still looking for comments on this? If so, I suggest that you ask for reviews on various Wikiprojects attached to this article. If not, can you close this PR? Thanks, Z1720 (talk) 03:12, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

The nominator hasn't responded to the above ping, so I am going to close this PR. A new one can be opened when someone wants to receive more comments. Z1720 (talk) 21:25, 6 November 2022 (UTC)