Wikipedia:Peer review/Melbourne Airport/archive1

Melbourne Airport

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because of the recent promotion to good article status and on suggestion by the reviewer to pursue featured article status. Hopefully some good input can be provided to further refine and improve the article. Thanks! Mvjs (talk) 12:09, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Giggy

• I very vaguely recall there being more than one "main" airport in Melbourne (I lived near Tullamarine for a short time and I always thought there was another big one somewhere far away... but then I was 9 so yeah...). Am I totally wrong? If not, can there be a link to it in the hatnote?
  • Melbourne has four airports, Essendon Airport, Avalon Airport, Moorabbin Airport and of course Melbourne Airport. Essendon Airport was by far the primary airport prior to the opening of Tullamarine. Mvjs (talk) 11:01, 4 August 2008 (UTC)
• I'm not sure if I like the fact that the article starts off with a stack of statistics... I prefer Sydney Airport's first few sentences; thoughts?
• "The airport is located 25 kilometres (16 mi) northwest of the Melbourne city centre and has its own suburb boundaries with the area officially named Melbourne Airport, adjacent to the suburb of Tullamarine and has the postcode 3045" - this sentence needs some work... (try reading it aloud)
  • I've separated the first and last part, reads clearer now. Mvjs (talk) 11:21, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
• Is the flying of the A380 at Melbourne such a big deal that it warrants its own section?
  • I believe so, there's major terminal modifications happening to accommodate the aircraft and this aircraft beginning commercial service at the airport is an important mark in the airports history. I don't like to participate in the "me too" mentality but Singapore Changi has a section on accommodating the A380.
• The refs in the Traffic and statistics table seem to get overlapped by the header text... not sure what to do about it, but yeah...
  • All the refs seem fine to me. Are you using an alternative skin or something? Mvjs (talk) 11:21, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
• Is it worth having really small sections like the Other facilities and Melbourne Centre ones?
  • I agree. I've made this sections sub-sections under the Terminals and Operations section respectively. Mvjs (talk) 11:21, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
• "and the noise from jet operations made Essendon an unsuitable site." - this is a bit awkward considering there's already an airport at Essendon (or so you write...)...
  • Clarified. Mvjs (talk) 11:21, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
• "with the first international flights arriving" - feels incomplete; when did they arrive?
  • Clarified. Mvjs (talk) 11:21, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
• "The first domestic flight landed on June 26, 1971[12] and also that year, the first landing of the Boeing 747." - this sentence is a bit choppy midway through, play around with the commas and see if you can make it flow better.
• "Melbourne Airport was originally called Tullamarine Airport and locals still commonly refer to it by that name or simply as Tulla." - source? (And for the rest of this paragraph.)
  • Added a few references to that paragraph. I cannot find an exact reference stating "Tullamarine Airport is now known as Melbourne Airport". Mvjs (talk) 11:49, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
• Yeah, took a look at a few random paragraphs of prose; an independant copyedit would be a good idea before FAC.
  • Definitely. Not sure where to find one though. Mvjs (talk) 11:21, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
• I hope these comments help. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Cheers, —Giggy 10:19, 4 August 2008 (UTC)
  • They certainly are, thanks for your review! Mvjs (talk) 11:21, 7 August 2008 (UTC)