Wikipedia:Peer review/Martin Luther King, Jr./archive1

Martin Luther King, Jr. edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I think it has potential to become a Good Article or even a Featured Article. It's a very important article and I'm sure that it gets a lot of traffic. I noticed it needed work so I cut out a little bit fo irrelevant information, reworded a bunch of plagiarism, formatted the references that were there, and added 146 more references. I'm not an expert in the subject matter, though, so I'm hoping to get feedback on whether it should be trimmed (it's currently 108 kilobytes), if all of the external links, etc., are necessary, if it complies to the Manual of Style, and all of that fun stuff. Any copyediting that people could do would also be very helpful. Thanks in advance for any suggestions (or, even better, help fixing whatever problems come up), GaryColemanFan (talk) 23:29, 16 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Nikki
I saw your message on Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Georgia (U.S. state). Before I read through the article and offer some more specific suggestions, I agree with you that the external links should be cut down. WP:EL says that external links should be kept to a minimum. To cut them down, I'd remove any that are already listed as a citation, any that don't work, anything requiring registration, anything that isn't in English, and probably the videos/sounds. Also, anything that could be listed elsewhere should be removed. For example, the link on the plagiarism should be an external link at Martin Luther King, Jr. authorship issues, not here. I'll be back with other suggestions later. Nikki311 00:56, 17 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Here's some more:

  • Quite a few of the paragraphs begin with "In (date)" or "On (date)". Some of these need to be reworded.
  • Speaking of dates, some of the month/day dates (ex March 7) are wikilinked and some aren't. It needs to be consistent.
  • Could the "Books by or about Martin Luther King, Jr." be in a "Further reading" section instead?
  • I think the "Wife and children" section can be deleted. They are mentioned elsewhere in the article.
  • I think the lead should be longer. WP:LEAD recommends four paragraphs for an article this large, and I think there is quite a bit of the article that needs to be summarized in the lead (that isn't currently).

That's it for now. More later. Nikki311 01:57, 17 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Moni3

  • GCF, you must know what a whopping task you have undertaken. I don't envy you, though the end result will be immensely fulfilling. You may actually end up living in a cave dressed in burlap before that happens, though. I want you to know that I will assist you in this article in every stage. I wrote most of Birmingham campaign and brought it to FA as my second one. However, you have to be better than impeccable with sources. You have to know every facet of this man's life from almost every legitimate source written about him. I see you have David Garrow's FBI book, but I have to suggest you read his biography on King. It won a Pulitzer Prize - that has to be included in your sources. I would also suggest you read Diane McWhorter's chronicle of 1963 in Birmingham called Carry Me Home. It's very readable and quite informative on King's inner workings during the hinge of his career. Find me on my talk page. I will help with copy editing, advice, suggestions, etc. Let me know what I can do. --Moni3 (talk) 03:08, 17 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comment from GRBerry

  • To my eyes, the article severely underplays his religious beliefs and being a minister. The lead says "King was a Baptist minister, one of the few leadership roles available to black men at the time." The life section says that his advanced degrees were religious. If there is anything else in the article that discusses him as a religious leader, I'm not finding it. I am aware that this aspect of his life is often neglected in the popular accounts of his life and work, but it is more important than that and deserves mention. GRBerry 13:57, 17 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]