Wikipedia:Peer review/Late Registration/archive1

Late Registration edit

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This peer review discussion is closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because despite the FAC having gathered a lack of support or any sort of traction in general, I took on the suggestions there mostly and also expanded the article somewhat myself. Nominating for FA right now would quite premature though, so I thought a peer review would be appropriate to see if there are still any withstanding issues that I missed.

Thanks, K. Peake 13:59, 27 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

STANDARD NOTE: I have added this PR to the Template:FAC peer review sidebar to get quicker and more responses. When this PR is closed, please remove it from the list. Also, consider adding the sidebar to your userpage to help others discover pre-FAC PRs, and please review other articles in that template. Thanks! Z1720 (talk) 20:56, 28 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @Kyle Peake: this PR has been open for over a month but has not received feedback yet. Are you still interested in feedback? If so, I suggest asking for help on Wikiproject talk pages or editors who have written FAs on similar subjects. If not, can we close this PR? Z1720 (talk) 14:05, 15 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Z1720: I have now asked at the Hip hop WP talk page, thank you. --K. Peake 20:49, 15 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Peer review; Starting review edit

I'll pick up on doing this peer review. Its on the Wikiprojects page and it looks interesting. This may take a few hours. To get things started, his 'Christian' background is mentioned 2-3 times, while his ex-wife did make comments that he is a born-again Christian. If he is, then this should be stated in the article, along with which songs in this album were singled out, if any, for the Christian storytelling approach which he talks about. Also, in the Themes section, the phrase "diamonds mines" should read as "diamond mines". This review may take a few hours. ErnestKrause (talk) 14:00, 23 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(1) Lead section comments will come last, after all the other sections are reviewed.

(2) Background section. First sentence in this section in 39-words long. Try to break-up into two sentences.

Done. --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(3) The discussion of the inspirational sources for the album is good.

(4) Recording section. The second paragraph speaks about the 'exploratory' aspect of the collaboration and mentions novel sounds being brought in. The novel instruments and techniques need to be singled out. How many special instruments were used? Did Kayne play any of them? How many of the tracks featured these unique instruments? Did any of the special instruments recur on different tracks?

Done, from what I could. --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(5) Third paragraph in Recording mentions two track with Levine done in the studio, but only 'Heard em Say' is mentioned. What was the other Levine track?

This is not the intended mean and I have edited to reflect it now; good catch! --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(6) Music section. The section does finally give a list of the instruments featured, although the previous section on Recording only alludes to them. Possibly mention 2-3 of them in the Recording section as well.

Done per previous! --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(7) The phrase "10 violinists, four violists, and four cellists..." should read as "ten violinists, four violists...", arabic numbers should not be mixed with digits; normally it is one or the other consistently.

Done. --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(8) Themes and lyrics section: Not sure the reference to Will Smith here will be helpful after the Academy Awards. Possibly rephrase the sentence.

Rephrased as best as I could without adding OR. --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(9) Synchronic views of Christian faith and Market capitalism is an extensive theme and it might be nice if you could mention any other artists that have this viewpoint. (For example, many sources say the actor Tom Cruise is a Christian scientist and that it affects his art). Are there other musical artists who share his viewpoint who could be mentioned as an example?

Done using a West quote about capitalism, if this is relevant enough? --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(10) The phrase "in diamonds mines..." should be "in diamond mines...".

Done. --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(11) Could Artwork section be pulled into the section following it, and appear next to the Singles section. Promotion is a blend of marketing, artwork, packaging, and the release of singles; it would be nice to see this in one section with the subsections.

Done. --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(12) The Singles section does indicate the release of the singles, though it seems to give more about the Reception and sales numbers than would be expected in this section. It seems that million item sales would normally be covered in the Reception section (though not to mix them up with the album performance numbers).

Why would they be moved there when the figures are for the singles themselves, not the album, especially when chart positions are here? --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(13) Commercial performace section does cover the album, though it might be useful to include some comment on sales being stimulated by the singles releases as well. It might be interesting to compare the dates as well of when the singles went gold compared to when the album went gold.

I'm a little confused around this; are you wanting me to move the singles' commercial info here or not? --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(14) Given the emphasis in the start of the article about the use of 20-piece orchestration, then it would be nice to see something about this in the Legacy section. What other musical artists in hip-hop were influenced by using orchestras for their own songs after this album? Can a few examples of songs or artists be mentioned by name?

This is not really a prime example of influence, more so a key part of the album because it helped form the sound heavily. --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(15) Track listing, Personnel, and Charts sections all look pretty good. Should Patti LaBelle be mentioned in the Personnel section after you mention her in the main section of this article?

Done, nice catch! --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(16) 200 citations is useful and well presented with some Further reading suggestions.

(17) Lead section looks good. Optionally consider some mention of the 20-piece orchestrations, though that is up to you. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:14, 23 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done, using the term "ensemble". --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Those are my main points for this peer review which I was able to do in a quicker time period than I orignially planned. The article is well-written and generally organized to give readers a chance to learn details which they would normally not see on their own. Let me know if I can add more detail to any of my comments above. ErnestKrause (talk) 14:49, 23 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

ErnestKrause I have covered your comments above; feel free to let me know your feelings about any of this! --K. Peake 10:01, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That about covers it. My comments on 12 and 13 were optional and only concerned the marketing aspects of record companies occassionally using singles releases to stimulate album sales. Album articles, unlike film articles at Wikipedia, do not often have Marketing sections which is why I state this as being optional. Separately, those were nice comments you made at FAC and they are now in two sections. ErnestKrause (talk) 17:40, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]