Wikipedia:Peer review/Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days/archive1

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days edit

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article was created shortly after the announcement of the game in September 2007. The game is still unreleased, and it is updated as new information is released. Because of a change in Featured topic criteria, this game and the other unreleased games need to go through peer review for the Kingdom Hearts topic to stay featured.

Any comments you may have to improve the article are welcome and I'll try to address them as best I can. (Guyinblack25 ^talk 06:00, 5 July 2008 (UTC))[reply]

Giggy comments

"It is an installment in the best-selling Kingdom Hearts series" - 1st installment? 10th installment? Say which one.
"The game features Roxas during the time period of Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories after Sora entered a deep sleep." - took me a while to work out that these are characters. Needs to clarify a bit to say you're describing the storyline here.
Generally it's OK, but it feels like (a lot of the time) short stubs of information have been tacked on and the flow has been disrupted. Random example: "The title, "358/2 Days", is a code that Nomura has stated the player will understand the meaning of at the very end of the game. The word "day" is attached to the title as a reference to the daily life of Organization XIII. The Nintendo DS was chosen as the system before plans were decided." (how does the last bit fit in?) Better to duplicate the refs and start sorting the info.

Yeah... not that much to say for now. —Giggy 13:04, 5 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the comments. I've tried tweaking the lead to address your first two comments. Unfortunately, since three titles are being released and no real dates have been set for any of them, saying which installment it is would be speculation at this point. But we'll be sure to add it in when we have more concrete info.

The text has also been massaged a bit to improve the flow. Hope it's an improvement. (Guyinblack25 ^talk 13:50, 5 July 2008 (UTC))[reply]

Comment The references are not all formatted the same way (last name/first name order is not consistent). Kariteh (talk) 08:56, 9 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Good eye. Authors have been formatted as "Last name, First Name". Let me know if I missed any of them. (Guyinblack25 ^talk 14:51, 9 July 2008 (UTC))[reply]