Kesha edit
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i would eventually like it for GA nomination and i would like to know what to improve upon or if there are any outstanding issues with the article :)
Thanks, (CK)Lakeshade✽talk2me 06:50, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: This article seems fairly comprehensive - thanks for your work on it. Here are some suggestions for improvement.
- I htink there are some places where the article could provide more context to the reader - see WP:PCR. For example, Pebe is not a common name and I was unclear at first if Pebe was her mother or father, so the second sentence could be something like "Pebe, a single mother, ..."
- Is anything known about Kesha's father?
- Language is decnt but there are places that need polish - for example Pebe would often look after then infant Kesha onstage while performing.[11] could be something like While Kesha was still an infant, Pebe would often look after her while performing onstage. (not great but you get the idea). One way to do this is to not read the article for a few days, then print it out and read it out loud slowly.
- Another sentence which is a bit awkward is She had wanted Prince to produce her music, so she located and trespassed into his home.
- More context could be provided at the first sentence of the Career beginnings: 2005–08 section. What year was this? Or what year was she in the video with Katy Perry?
- I am not really sure I understand this sentence Second single, "Blah Blah Blah" debuted in the top ten in the US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand before being announced as the next single due to strong digital sales following the release of the album.[34] I think it means something like Her song "Blah Blah Blah" debuted in the top ten in the US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand before it was officially announced as the second single... but I am not really sure what ... due to strong digital sales following the release of the album.[34] has to do with it - the album has lots of songs, why this one?
- If this goes for FA, the references should be in numberical order. Probably not a problem for GAN.
- There is a nice image of her in concert in the Kesha discography article that could be used here.
- Otherwise this looks pretty good - I would copy edit it or get someone else to before GAN though. I have pointed out a few rough spots, but I am sure there are more.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 03:58, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
- A bit more
- The sentence on trespassing in Prince's home is still awkward.
- I would add the year she signed with DAS - this ref from the article says it was in 2006
- Try to avoid passive voice - Kesha was then suggested for the part by Luke. could be Luke then suggested Kesha for the part.
- Many articles on performers have a personal life section - not sure if there is anything like that to add here (for example, who is she dating?)
I copyedited some minor things, hope this helps. Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:46, 17 July 2010 (UTC)