K-os edit
Just rewritten the article, and looking for some criticm and suggestions to hopefully get this to my first FA. Thank you in advance and I will try to respond to your comments as swiftly as possible. - Tutmosis 18:24, 22 October 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks for the automated peer review. I believe all suggestions have been met. - Tutmosis 00:24, 23 October 2006 (UTC)
The debut single Crabbuckit was shortly followed by B-Boy Stance, Man I Used To Be and Love Song followed with music videos and the radio exclusive Crucial and Dirty Water featuring Sam Roberts. This sentence needs to be reformulated completely. It is not clear what you mean by the second "followed", and the featuring isn't clear either.--SidiLemine 17:01, 27 October 2006 (UTC) I copyedited here and there to make the text flow more smoothly. Are you sure he is backstage in the second pic? He sure looks on stage to me. --SidiLemine 17:56, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks for the copyedit. That sentence is just listing all the singles from the album. The "followed" is meant to say that all the 4 singles just mentioned had music videos. Any ideas how to reformat this sentence? Regarding the pic, the site says his backstage + the junos aren't a white normally lit room with a tiny stage. - Tutmosis 20:00, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
- You could try "The debut single Crabbuckit was shortly followed by B-Boy Stance, Man I Used To Be, and Love Song, each accompanied by its music video. The radio exclusive titles Crucial and Dirty Water (featuring Sam Roberts) were released a little later."--SidiLemine 11:29, 28 October 2006 (UTC)
- Okay I changed it. How does it sound now? Also If you dont mind me asking, what do you think I should do about names of singles and albums, should I leave it as italics or leave it as normal text, or put quotation marks around them? - Tutmosis 15:23, 28 October 2006 (UTC)
- Yes I feel like it reads much better now. For the titles, you've got the answer here. Albums should be in italics, songs in double quotes: "Crabbuckit". Another thing you could do for the prose is to avoid the word "went", that is present four times through the article.--SidiLemine 10:41, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks its been taken care of. - Tutmosis 19:45, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
- Yes I feel like it reads much better now. For the titles, you've got the answer here. Albums should be in italics, songs in double quotes: "Crabbuckit". Another thing you could do for the prose is to avoid the word "went", that is present four times through the article.--SidiLemine 10:41, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
- Okay I changed it. How does it sound now? Also If you dont mind me asking, what do you think I should do about names of singles and albums, should I leave it as italics or leave it as normal text, or put quotation marks around them? - Tutmosis 15:23, 28 October 2006 (UTC)
- You could try "The debut single Crabbuckit was shortly followed by B-Boy Stance, Man I Used To Be, and Love Song, each accompanied by its music video. The radio exclusive titles Crucial and Dirty Water (featuring Sam Roberts) were released a little later."--SidiLemine 11:29, 28 October 2006 (UTC)