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Wikipedia:Peer review/Jaws (film)/archive1

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Jaws (film)

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I think this article is pretty good, but I need some help in chopping it down. I think the lead is too long and the Mythbusters section is unneeded, and some other minor things, but overall I think it has a lot of potential. It is up for GA nomination, but that is just way too slow. -Dark Kubrick 02:50, 4 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Image:Quint monologue.jpg, Image:Jawsfest.gif, Image:Jaws Unleashed Xbox.jpg, Image:Making of jaws.JPG, Image:Mythbustersshark.jpg, and Image:Jaws DVD.jpg all need fair use rationales. --lightdarkness (talk) 16:09, 4 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Ah, I missed that. Does Image:Quint monologue.jpg need fair use if it is taken from an online source?-Dark Kubrick 19:44, 4 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah -- who captured the image or where the file came from is irrelevant, really... it's still a screenshot, the source being the film, etc. Listing the website from where that file was taken is courteous, but legally inconsequental. The JPStalk to me 18:16, 4 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. I've added fair use rationales for all the images except for Image:Mythbustersshark.jpg, as I have recently raised an issue on the talk page for its whole section to be deleted, and Image:Jawsfest.gif, where I've sent a message to the contributor to provide a source. -Dark Kubrick 19:43, 4 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I agree about that section. I've never been enthusiastic about it. It doesn't really add anything to an article about the (fictional) film. The article seems to be long anyway... The JPStalk to me 18:26, 4 August 2006 (UTC) P.S. Don't forget to sign your posts.[reply]

I always forget to sign my darn posts...Anyway, we'll see what happens, and I am trying to shorten the article a bit.-Dark Kubrick 19:43, 4 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Some quick comments (I'll have a good look next week):

Introduction:

  • Needs attention per WP:LEAD
  • Jersey Shore attacks have no reliable identification of the species of shark or if more than one species was involved so you shouldn't speculate here.
  • The long discussion of studio policy and Rotten Tomatoes' reviews don't belong here (especially as they are not mentioned again).
  • Nor do the taglines

Body:

  • Somebody likes the M1 Garand rifle - disproportional amount of detail there compared to the rest of the plot summary.
  • Video game section is a bit of strange addition (This is Jaws (film))
  • List of movies inspired by Jaws is POV and should probably be scrapped
  • Mythbusters section appears to have annotated by somebody's own comments. This is original research so even if you keep it, it needs sorting out.
  • Peter Benchley is dead so it would be best to change the tense of his comments (from 'has said' to 'said', 'since written' to 'later wrote' etc.)

The whole article needs a copyedit - there is some very strange phrasing in the earlier sections. BTW, I seem to remember that cage scenes were short with a jockey not a dwarf, but could be wrong. Yomangani 00:58, 5 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I'd like to give an enthusiastic thanks for your comments, and I will make changes to the article. I probably will delete the Mythubusters section soon, as no one seems to care. Also, I don't think the list of Jaws-inspired movies is POV, as most of the films bear a very strong resemblance to Jaws (if they're not parodies). Thanks again for your comments.Dark Kubrick 01:31, 5 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

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