Wikipedia:Peer review/Jasper High School (Plano, Texas)/archive1
Jasper High School (Plano, Texas) edit
Any suggestions for improvements would be great. --Longhornsg 19:37, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
- Quite good, in fact ... taking into consideration that this is about, basically, a run-of-the mill school. I'd just generally cut down on material that is not likely to be of interest to people not involved with the school, such as the "Notable Staff Events" section. Sandstein 22:03, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
I suppose you've already seen the featured articles, Hopkins School and Plano Senior High School. Your article is nice; here are some ideas:
- The prose in places is very choppy, with paragraphs that are only a sentence or two. You could try to expand choppy paragraphs, or merge the paragraphs into other content. There are quite a few areas that could be expanded to be more comprehensive. Sections about two particular teachers, who aren't really notable, aren't encyclopedic. (Remember what Wiki is not: WP:NOT).
- "Interesting facts" is not encyclopedic: everything in Wiki should be an interesting fact.
- Expand all of your refs to full bibliographic style so we can see where the info comes from without having to click on the links. Newspaper reports should include author (when there is one), title, paper, pub date, etc. If a lot of your references are to the school website, that raises a red flag: you should strive for independent sources to the extent possible. Don't show a lot of blue links: say what the source is with the most complete bibliographic info possible.
- You have a section called "Other" with one sentence, and another, Gold Performance Acknowledgements, with one sentence. A better organization of your material will result in a cleaner Table of Contents and better flow in the prose.
- Problems is another unencyclopedic section heading: aim for encyclopedic content, rather than a website feel. Problems and Additions can probably be eliminated as section sub-headings. All of the section sub-headings in Faculty can be eliminated.
- History is brief.
- Sections headings don't conform to WP:MOS.
In general, you have a very good start, but you can work on the organization which has resulted in short, stubby sections; expand some of the content; and remove content that isn't encyclopedic. Sandy 00:37, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
- PS - you might consider adding some images. Sandy 00:39, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
- As Sandstein and Sandy said, a lot of the issues with the article relate to the "who cares?" factor. X computers and Y phone lines: who cares? I went to Jasper, so I know there is nothing so important about it to warrant an article this long. As the author of Plano Senior High School, I see major flaws with the importance of almost everything presented in this article on a global or even city scale. It is time for large sections of this article to face the chopping block in order to improve it. — Scm83x hook 'em 03:15, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
- Please see User:Scm83x/jhs for specific sections I find superfluous. — Scm83x hook 'em 02:34, 6 October 2006 (UTC)