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Wikipedia:Peer review/James Thompson (surveyor)/archive1

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James Thompson (surveyor)

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This has just been promoted to GA and I'd like to take this to FAC. All of the information and content is there, IMO, I'm just stuck as how to best arrange and organize it. Input and broad-level copyediting would be much appreciated!

– John M Wolfson (talk • contribs) 03:58, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Epicgenius

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I'll take a look at this later. Are there any portraits or photos of Thompson, though? epicgenius (talk) 13:34, 27 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • There is a photo here, but I'm unsure of its copyright status. Other than that I can't seem to find anything else. – John M Wolfson (talk • contribs) 20:10, 27 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Epicgenius: I'm aware that you have other commitments, but I'd like to have this be TFA on August 4 and would like to receive more feedback ASAP to that end. Thanks! – John M Wolfson (talk • contribs) 20:36, 1 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Based in Kaskaskia, Illinois, he was hired to plat the settlements at the ends of the proposed Illinois and Michigan Canal - I personally wouldn't use "based" as the beginning of the sentence, as this can mean several different things.
    • I changed it to "operating mainly from"; I also noted that Kaskaskia is in the south of the state.
  • and declined an offer of land in Chicago in favor of cash - for the survey?
    • Yes. I've made that clearer.
  • The third paragraph is a summary of his "Legacy" section, but I was thinking we can condense this to 2 paragraphs, based on how short the rest of the article is.
    • Based on WP:LEAD, you're right. I just concatenated the paragraphs together, hopefully that isn't too sloppy.
  • James Thompson was born in 1789 in Abbeville, South Carolina, to Mary Glasgow and John Porter Thompson. - any siblings?
    • The sources are silent as to the actual number, but he moved to Kaskaskia with a brother.
  • He served as a county commissioner during 1820 and 1821 alongside David Anderson and Niles Hotchkiss.[...] - lots of sentences beginning with "he" in this paragraph. Other paragraphs like "Later years" also have this issue.
    • I merged some sentences and rewrote others.
  • and parcels of land adjoining the proposed canal to sell and raise funds for the its construction in 1827 - which Congress granted?
    • Yes; I rewrote the sentence to reflect this.
  • The second paragraph of "Plat of Chicago" seems out of place, especially since it hasn't yet been stated that he surveyed Chicago.
  • Is there more info on his plat of Ottawa?
    • Not that I could find, but it doesn't seem particularly important.
  • The fourth paragraph of "Plat of Chicago" also seems out of place, except for the first sentence. This seems more like it would fit on a description of the plat itself. The other sentences could probably be condensed to this effect.
    • Again, I just concatenated this paragraph to the third one.
  • He did surveying work for various other towns and counties in Illinois, in later years assisted by some of his sons - all across the state, or just NE Illinois?
    • I'd reckon mostly in southern and western Illinois, but the sources don't say.
  • Where was Thompson's monument?
    • On his gravesite.

These are my initial comments so far, though it seems like a lot of the focus is on the Chicago plat. epicgenius (talk) 20:48, 1 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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