Wikipedia:Peer review/International Federation of Business and Professional Women/archive1

International Federation of Business and Professional Women edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to get some help with making it less like an "advertisement"

Thanks, Randolph.hollingsworth (talk) 04:02, 1 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Brianboulton comments: As the banner at the top of the article indicates, this article is not presently in a form which complies with Wikipedia's neutrality perspective. I am sure that BPW International is a suitable subject for a WP article, but it needs substantial amendemnt. In its present form it is not really suitable for peer review, which is intended for articles in a relatively advanced stage of their development; however, here are a few suggestions for improving it.

  • Develop the History section. For an organisation with an 80-year history, these few lines are quite inadequate - they hardly take us beyond the foundation year.
  • Give us more profile information about the organisation. Is it still based in Geneva? Where does it get its income from: members? grants? other sources? What is its approximate annual budget? Does it have a management structure... etc, etc.
  • What sort of activities does the organisation currently promote> Give specific examples of recent high-profile events.
  • What kinds of difficulties and negativism has the organisation had to overcome to establish itself as a viable international federation? How is it viewed today, in the business world? Have business journals, press or other magazines carried articles about it? Does it publish any magazine of its own?
  • Ensure that all the information that you provide is cited to a rliable source. Primary sources such as the federation's own literature should be used with care; OK for aims and objectives and entirely factual information, but not for any commentary.

I hope these points serve to show you ways in which the article might develop. As a fairly occasional WP editor you might wish to avail yourself of some of the "How to..." stuff that Wikipedia provides. Brianboulton (talk) 16:39, 7 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]