Wikipedia:Peer review/Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur/archive1

Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur edit

I have been dedicatedly working on this article since 14 July. After taking extensive cues from other Featured Articles of the same type Michigan State University and University of Michigan, I think I need the community's opinion on how to further improve the article. Some paragraphs in the article have been directly copied from another featured article Indian Institutes of Technology. One possible issue with this article can be that I have used IIT Kharagpur's own published source as a reference many times. However, I don't think this would be detrimental for the neutrality and comprehensiveness of the article as most such info is regarding the institute's own establishments, programs, etc. and no judgement has been used from them. I eventually plan to make this article a Featured Article, and I feel that the article isn't very far from it. — Ambuj Saxena (talk) 20:17, 21 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

If you took portions from Indian Institutes of Technology, your article may have the same sorts of prose problems that were revealed in Wikipedia:Featured article review/Indian Institutes of Technology. The article needs a thorough copyedit by someone not familiar with the text. For example (these are only examples to show the density of problems):

  • Long sentence, difficult to wind through: Like other IITs, it was established to train scientists and engineers in order to develop a national skilled work-force with the aim of bolstering economic and social development of India after it attained independence from British rule in 1947.
  • IIT Kharagpur is possibly the only major technical institution in the world that started life in a prison house. Reword to avoid the need to say "possibly": in an encyclopedia, we need to know if it is or if it isn't.
  • After the IIT Council, the organisational structure of IITs separate. I don't know what that means.
  • Admission to most undergraduate and postgraduate courses in IIT Kharagpur is granted through various written entrance examinations. Go through the article and reduce redundancies. The campus currently has 29 academic departments, centres and schools and 18 hostels (called "Halls of Residence", or just Halls).
  • More redundancy and grammar errors: Over the years, tThe library has grown on to be the biggest technical library in Asia[10] and Because of provisions and powers granted by the Indian Institutes of Technology Act, IIT Kharagpur drafts own curricula to adapt to the changes in educational requirements, free from bureaucratic hurdles. Drafts its own?

That is only a random run-through, picking random sentences here and there, which indicate the need for a complete copy edit.

There are entire sections which are unreferenced (for example, Alumni). Also, put your categories in alphabetical order. Sandy 22:36, 21 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Sandy, thanks for the review. I have thoroughly copyedited the prose, and hopefully done what you asked for. I have removed one speculation from the alumni section. Other than that, I feel nothing else needs citation (hoping you won't ask for citation that a particular person was an IIT KGP alumni). — Ambuj Saxena (talk) 06:05, 22 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]