Wikipedia:Peer review/Hamilton-Burr duel/archive1
Lead, addressing issues related to failed featured article status.Sabar 05:45, 24 October 2006 (UTC)
So much work to be done. I lost what I had written earlier. Everything I write will be somewhat hasty, so I apologize. Keep your citations behind your period and quotation marks. Put the intentions of either dueler before "The duel". Mention Burr's killer intention first. A sentence like "Burr's intentions, simply, were to mortally wound Hamilton." This would be fine. Then add your detail about him being a good shot, and wanting to shoot Hamilton in the heart, etc. Use your templates. Cquote can be used here: "rubbed his face, lips, and temples with spirits of hartshorn, applied it to his neck and breast, and to the wrists and palms of his hands, and endeavoured to pour some into his mouth." Hamilton revived a short time later whereupon he remarked on a still undischarged pistol in the pistol case and claimed that he had no intention on firing at Burr. Hamilton remained silent except for answering questions. The last of the letter says Hamilton informed Hosack that "his lower extremities had lost all feeling, manifesting to me that he entertained no hopes that he should long survive." [18] And here:"I have resolved, if our interview is conducted in the usual manner, and it pleases God to give me the opportunity, to reserve and throw away my first fire, and I have thoughts even of reserving my second fire."[21] And here:"General Hamilton says he cannot imagine what Dr. Cooper may have alluded, unless it were to a conversation at Mr. Taylor's, in Albany, last winter (at which he and General Hamilton were present). General Hamilton cannot recollect distinctly the particulars of that conversation, so as to undertake to repeat them, without running the risk of varying or omitting what might be deemed important circumstances. The expressions are entirely forgotten, and the specific ideas imperfectly remembered; but to the best of his recollection it consisted of comments on the political principles and views of Colonel Burr, and the results that might be expected from them in the event of his election as Governor, without reference to any particular instance of past conduct or private character."[11] So use them. The difference between "Background" and "Cause" is blurry at best. Either substantially differentiate them, or merge them. Your lead, which has already been discussed by my predecessor, is sloppy and the posterboy of run-on sentences. Again with the intentions thing: your coverage of the fact that in no way Hamilton planned on killing Burr is shotty. Please state this fact first, then cover details. Can we have a picture of where Weehawken is? Like you did with the shot of the monument by overview. Get the place of Weehawken like that, and find a suitably licensed picture of the monument. It's out there. --Evan(Salad dressing is the milk of the infidel!) 11:05, 24 October 2006 (UTC)
- Alright, I did some cleaning up. I need to think on the wording of how to place the men's intentions before the duel, since one of the sources of his intentions comes after the fact. Sabar 19:42, 24 October 2006 (UTC)
- I started this over the summer and likely won't have the time to finish it any time in the next year. It is based on my cursory readings of primary and secondary sources. Really, someone just needs to assemble all of the primary accounts of the duel, as they were given over the next few decades, and read a few of the most recent secondary sources (Fleming, most importantly) if you want to make this featured. I don't know who initiated the last featured article candidacy, but needless to say, it was premature. savidan(talk) (e@) 17:15, 24 October 2006 (UTC)
- Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ t 23:24, 24 October 2006 (UTC)
The lead could use expansion. This is probably the most famous duel in United States history. It's certainly the only one to involve a sitting vice president. Greater depth on the background is probably appropriate. If I remember correctly, Hamilton actually received the greatest number of electoral college votes in 1800 and Burr was second. Hamilton broke the congressional deadlock by throwing all of his votes behind third place Thomas Jefferson. Then (I think this was subsequently) Hamilton campaigned against Burr's unsuccessful bid for governorship of New York State. It ought to be explicit that Burr actually spent the last eight months of his vice presidency on the run from felony arrest warrants in two different states. To expand the aftermath a bit, this duel is the origin of the rivalry between Columbia University and Princeton University (Hamilton was a Columbia man, Burr was a Princetonian).[1] Also, has historical analysis of the duel or its participants shifted over the years? Durova 01:50, 29 October 2006 (UTC)