Wikipedia:Peer review/Giraffe/archive3

Giraffe

Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I had just did some re-paraphasing of the available sources and would like someone to do a spotcheck of atleast some sources to see if the paraphasing is good enough for FA. This cost it in the last FA review. Two of the books can be found here and here.

Thanks, LittleJerry (talk) 22:58, 12 March 2012 (UTC)

Paraphases that I need checked:

• Similarly, following their preferred habitat, African Giraffa entered Africa via Ethiopia about 7 Mya. vs From here, the genus Giraffa evolved and, around 7 mya, entered Africa though Ethiopia.
• The giraffe has an enlongated jaw, with a grooved upper palate which has no front upper teeth. vs The upper jaw has a grooved palate and lacks front teeth.
• When galloping, however, the two hinf legs are brough forward almost simultaneously and land outside of the front legs, which are then moved forward. vs When galloping, the hind legs move around the front legs before the latter move forward..
• Giraffes can rest standing but prefer to lie with their legs fold beneath them; vs A giraffe rests by lying down with its body on top of its folded legs.
• The dorsal spines of the anterior thoracies are long, forming the prominent hump on the upper back. They serve for the attachments of the large muscles and the nuchal ligament which support the head and neck. vs The giraffe's head and neck are held up by large muscles and a nuchal ligament, which are anchored by long dorsal spines on the anterior thoracic vertebrae, giving the animal a hump.
• To enable the head to be lifted the first two vertebrae are articulated with ball and socket joints; in the giraffe this altas-axis joint is modified, allowing the head to tilt vertically. This, along with the long tongue, allows the animal to reach branches an extra metre above its head. vs The giraffe has a modified atlas-axis joint (C1 and C2), which functions like a ball and socket joint. This allows the animal to tilt its head vertically and reach more branches with the tongue.
• Neck lengths also differ between sexes: male giraffe average about 30-40 cm longer and up to 1.7-fold heavier necks than same-age females. vs In support of this theory, necks are longer and heavier for males than females of the same age,..
• Apart from an alarm snort, calves bleat and make a mooing/mewing call.... Moaning, snoring, hissing and flutelike sounds have also been reported. vs Calves will emit snorts, bleats and moo/mewing sounds. Other sounds made include snores, hisses, moans and flute-like sounds.
• A strong maternal bond exists between the giraffe cow and calf until the cow's next calving. vs The bond a mother shares with its calf lasts until the former's next calving.
• They continued sucking up to the age of 13 months and remained associated with their mothers for another 2–5 months. vs Calves are weaned after 13 months, however associations between mothers and offspring continue for another 2–5 months.
• Ticks usually infest giraffe, particulary in the relatively thin-skinned area of the genitalia. vs They are often hosts for ticks, especially in the area around the genitals, which has thinner skin than other areas.
• This period is when the giraffe appears with its own hieroglyph, with the Old Egyptian word for giraffe be 'sr' becoming 'mmy' in the later dynasties. vs The Egyptians gave the giraffe its own hieroglyph; its name being 'sr' in Old Egyptian and 'mmy' in later periods.
• The Africans have always used parts of the giraffe-the flesh for meat; the skin for shields, sandals and drums; the tendons for stringed musical instruments; and the tail hairs for bracelets, flyswitches and thread. vs Different parts of their bodies were used for different purposes. Their meat used for food. The tail hairs served as flyswatters, braclets, necklaces and thread. [another source is used for necklaces] Shields, sandals and drums were made using the skin and the strings of musical instruments were from the tendons.
• The traditional medicine men of Buganda prescribed smoke of burning giraffe skin as a cure for persistent nose bleeding. vs The smoke of burning giraffe skins was used by the medicine men of Buganda to treat nose bleeds.

LittleJerry (talk) 18:13, 19 March 2012 (UTC)