Wikipedia:Peer review/Gifu, Gifu/archive2

Gifu, Gifu

I'm submitting this article to peer review because I've been working on it for some time now and would like fresh opinions on how this article can be improved. All comments are appreciated. The past peer review was archived, but there weren't many comments in it. Douggers (talk) 01:51, 11 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

This is a really nice article. You've brought it a long way since the last Peer Review. It's well organized, easy to read and at an appropriate level of detail. The illustrations are relevant and attractive.

Here's a suggestion: Wikipedia:WikiProject Cities#Article structure guidelines links to article structure guidelines for UK and US cities. Both call for a geography section. The Japanese Wikipedia has some relevant material. Since the article mentions several features including the castle, mountain, Gifu Station, and some chō by name, a map would help readers conceptualize the layout.

I've added a geography section and a demographics section. (I haven't been able to come up with a map with suitable licensing, but I'm still looking.) I also went back and put in references to more statements. I'm considering putting it up as a featured article candidate in the next day or two, unless anyone has more advice Douggers (talk) 09:21, 18 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Next, a couple of minor comments on ways to polish the article. I've done some similar changes and suggest these.

In the Lifestyle section, the information on Gifu City Tower needs to be updated. It's referenced, so either a new reference will be necessary, or the present one will have to be removed, unless you can alter the sentence to separate the pre- and post-opening information.

A number of topics are discussed in two places. Slow life, Gifu City Tower, and the fashion industry rivaling Tokyo and Osaka are all covered twice. Once should be good.

Saito Dosan's name appears both with and without macrons. That'll be easy to fix. Jozai-ji too.

The sentence "In the aromatic garden, you can enjoy tea and traditional foods." is in the second person; WP:MoS requires the third person.

These are minor matters. The article is quite nice already. Fg2 (talk) 11:38, 11 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for compliments and advice. I've made the simple changes (redundancy, macrons, etc.), but the geography section is going to take a little time, so I won't get to it until later this week. Douggers (talk) 07:14, 13 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR _t 06:08, 14 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]