Georg Solti edit
| Toolbox |
|---|
This peer review discussion has been closed.
What, will the line stretch out to the crack of doom? This is yet another of my efforts on classical music's great and good. As usual, comments on balance, prose, proportion and anything else will be gratefully received. My first Solti concert was more than forty years ago, and I have admired him (not in all repertoire, it's true) ever since. I'd like him to have the best article that can be managed. (One punctuation point: I have made a small stand for British punctuation rather than American in such phrases as "In 1961 Solti went...", avoiding the comma evidently normal in American usage.) Tim riley (talk) 19:10, 28 February 2012 (UTC)
Brianboulton comments: First instalment, to end of Munich and Frankfurt section. Mainly trivial:-
- Lead
- "...conducting a season of Russian ballet in London at the Royal Opera House." I'd avoid "conducting" in favour of "and conducted"
- "By "remaking many of his earlier recordings" do you mean that he assembled the original forces and re-recorded the pieces, or that he simply made new recordings of pieces he had recorded earlier, during his "intense" period? If the latter, that's not really "remaking".
- Early life
- What is "Vérmező utca"? I couldn't find it in List of districts in Budapest
- It comes up if you google it. It appears to be a street (I've an idea "utca" is Hungarian for "street") but whether (like, e.g. Knightsbridge) it also refers to an area I do not know. I got it from the ODNB, which says "Solti ... was born György Stern in Vérmezö utca, in the Buda district of Budapest." Oddly, the Independent article I cited in re his funeral says his birthplace is in "Maros Utca, a quiet backstreet down behind the castle mound in Buda". Should I leave it out, and just say "in the Buda district of Budapest", do you think? Tim riley (talk) 09:11, 3 March 2012 (UTC)
- "I learnt to swim with her". Oddly placed, if he meant that literally. Or did he mean that he became musically proficient with her.
- The latter, I'm sure. I didn't boggle at it when I read and commandeered this quote, but each time I re-read it in my draft it looked odder and odder. I am reluctant to prune it. I think I might leave it for now and see if other reviewers agree that it looks odd. Tim riley (talk) 09:11, 3 March 2012 (UTC)
- "In pursuit of a musical career..." At this stage, from what you've said about his lack of diligence in his piano studies, I doubt that Solti aged 10 was actually pursuing a music career; wasn't he simply doing his parents' bidding?
- There's no mention of his completing his studies at the Franz Liszt Academy, or graduating. He was 18 at the most when he joined the Hungarian State Opera; this seems an early age to leave the academy. Is there any information on this?
- He graduated all right. It seems that in the early 20th century and earlier music colleges took students of a younger age than they do now (cf Barbirolli at the RAM). Solti has a charming phrase in his memoirs "[I] wrote a string quartet as a graduation piece, thereby ending my career as a composer." I've added a phrase to the following section. Tim riley (talk) 09:11, 3 March 2012 (UTC)
- Répétiteur
- Not an adequately descriptive section title, since the prose goes well beyond Solti's répétiteur role.
- I thought the same when I was writing it, but I can't think of anything that covers it without being woolly, such as "First musical appointments". Any suggestions will be most gratefully received. Tim riley (talk) 09:11, 3 March 2012 (UTC) Later – I've settled for "Pianist and conductor", but am still open to suggestions for improvement. Tim riley (talk) 09:26, 3 March 2012 (UTC)
- "Follows writes" Who he? Also, I wonder if this entirely factual information is worthy of a quote and formal attribution.
- Oops! Blitzed Follows (he's the ODNB biographer) and rephrased without quotes.
- "including restricting": I always try to avoid the dreaded "...ing ...ing" (especially with a third "ing" four words on.
- On the "ing" question, two clauses in the next sentence begin, respectively, "making" and "conducting". The prose would read more smoothly if "making" became "where he made" . In the same sentence, the words "in the orchestra pit" seem unnecessary (where else would they be?)
- Munich and Frankfurt
- Give a date for his appointment as musical director of the Bavarian State Opera. The link article gives 1946, but we should be more precise.
- Second paragraph should begin "Before he took up the Munich appointment..." Clarify that the Decca contract was not an alternative to the conducting post - it could be read that way at present.
- "...but for political reasons his position there was never secure." Again for clarity I would say "his position at the Bavarian State Opera was never secure".
- Again it would be helpful if the date of the Frankfurt could be pinpointed.
- Maybe name one or two of the "rising young Americans"?
- Mention of the Glyndebourne Don Giovanni looks odd in the middle of a paragraph otherwise devoted to Solti's American activities.
I will continue. I have a busy weekend ahead with my daughters, so my Wiki time will be rationed for a couple of days. Brianboulton (talk) 23:05, 2 March 2012 (UTC)
- Excellent! Thank you. Plenty for me to be getting on with here, and no hurry whatever for your second batch until you have world enough and time. Tim riley (talk) 23:32, 2 March 2012 (UTC)
A few more points to complete my review:-
- Covent Garden
- "The company's repertory in the 1960s combined the standard operatic works and less familiar pieces." You are the expert in the finer points of usage, but something tells me it should be "combined ... with" rather than "combined ... and"
- "By the end of his time as music director at Covent Garden Solti had conducted the company in 33 operas by 13 composers." I see the list of operas in the footnote, but would it be possible to break this down and show, e.g. how many of the works were new to the company, how many were new productions, whether any were world premieres? Also, it is not clear from the text when "the end of his time" was; can this be clarified?
- Doesn't "remarry" mean marry again the same person?
- Chicago Symphony
- "He introduced new works commissioned for the orchestra, such as Lutosławski's Third Symphony, and Tippett's Fourth Symphony, dedicated to Solti, and Byzantium, an orchestral song-cycle, premiered by Solti and the orchestra with Jessye Norman." The Byzantium song cycle is by Michael Tippett, but this isn't obvious from the text. In fact this whole sentence needs a bit of rephrasing - three "ands" at the moment. I suggest: "He introduced new works commissioned for the orchestra, such as Lutosławski's Third Symphony, and Tippett's Fourth Symphony which the composer dedicated to Solti. Another new work was Tippet's and Byzantium, an orchestral song-cycle, premiered by Solti and the orchestra with the soprano Jessye Norman."
- "scheduled to be in" → "scheduled for"?
- Later years
- "...he formed the World Orchestra for Peace, which consisted of 81 musicians from 40 nations." A little more detail (this was presumably a temporary ensemble, but when/where/how often did it perform?) would be helpful.
- Maybe the sentence about the tribute recording should be placed after rather than before his death?
- Honours and memorials
- I found the recitation of honours in the firat paragraph a little numbing (shades of the Huntingdonshire cabmen). Perhaps prune it and list a sample?
- When was the "Solti Garden" thus named?
No real problems with these points, but you may wish to consider them. Subject to a bit of tweaking the article looks pretty much ready for FAC. Brianboulton (talk) 00:30, 6 March 2012 (UTC)
- I'm most grateful for these points, with all of which I agree. I am in your debt, as usual. Happy to repay at next Boulton peer review, naturally. Tim riley (talk) 18:01, 9 March 2012 (UTC)
- Comments by Wehwalt
-
- Lede:
- I wonder if you should not have some mention of Solti's top accomplishments in the first paragraph.
- I'm not good at leads, and am always open to suggestions. This is good, and I'll redraw accordingly.
- ". His career was interrupted by the rise of the Nazis, and as a Jew he fled the increasingly restrictive anti-semitic laws in 1938, and conducted a season of Russian ballet in London at the Royal Opera House." too many ands.
- " He became a German citizen in 1953." You may wish to vary the phrasing used with the British acquisition, then.
- It may help in the final paragraph of lede if you refer to him mellowing personally, professionally, or both.
- Early years
- "Solti supported himself" Well, he paid for his own musical education, anyway. I doubt he paid the landlord.
- Pianist and conductor
- "was a more fruitful preparation" Consider eliminating the "a"
- Munich and Frankfurt
- "denazification" Perhaps "denazification proceedings against them".
- Can you not mention a few of the greats who were in that recorded Ring cycle? Flagstad, certainly.
- Covent Garden
- The bit about LA seems a bit disjointed, you might want to take a look at it
- Later years
- "reinterpretations like that of Patrice Chéreau (Bayreuth 1976) " Can this not be handled better than the use of parentheses, especially since you mention Bayreuth immediately previously?
- Dudley Moore. Perhaps "actor and composer Dudley Moore"?
- "conducted his last symphony concert." Perhaps "conducted what proved to be his last ..." You have already mentioned that he had additional concerts planned, so it obviously wasn't known to be that at the time.
- Honours and memorials.
- You probably won't get away with the sculpture park, but perhaps you'll be in with a chance.
- Comments by Cassianto
Two comments I had have already been touched upon by Wehwalt, so the only drive-by comments I can offer are typo related:
- Ref consistency - period after ref. 68
- Missing period after footnote 4.
Nothing else obvious to me. A fascinating article about a man, whom I'm embarrassed to say, I knew very little about. -- Cassianto (talk) 23:57, 8 March 2012 (UTC)