Wikipedia:Peer review/Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study/archive1

Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study edit

I've listed this article for peer review because I wonder whether this article is sufficiently understandable and detailed for a GA nomination.

Thanks, Tommyren (talk) 16:47, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Ichthyovenator

For posterity's sake, I'm not knowledgeable on this topic at all, which means I cannot verify the information within. I'm only offering comments based on the reading experience, and I recommend that you also try to find a second reviewer who is more versed in the subject at hand.

Comments:

  • In the lead, the aim of the study is not introduced until the last sentence. IMO this should be introduced as early as possible, maybe as the second sentence?
  • "Within each city, hospitals were sampled and births were sampled in each hospital" - the wording is a bit convoluted; also not sure you need to say hospitals were sampled here since it is already alluded to that hospitals were worked in in the first sentence of the section. Perhaps the entire paragraph can be simplified somehow?
  • Under "Research questions and topics", the meanings of some of two terms are unclear to me (perhaps explanations could be added in parentheses): "household roster and demographics" and "child care/kindergarten characteristics at three and five"
  • Under "Funding and management" you could link Princeton University and Columbia University

Ichthyovenator (talk) 10:04, 19 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]