Flag of Brazil edit
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I want some feedback on how to make this article featured. I believe we have a pretty solid article that might meet FA requirements. If anyone can come up with some ideas.. that would be very helpful. Thank you! Limongi (talk) 15:06, 10 October 2010 (UTC)
Finetooth comments This is interesting and generally well-written. It seems comprehensive or nearly so, at least to an outsider like me. It is well-illustrated. However, it it not ready for GAN yet because a good deal of it is unsourced. I would suggest as a first step that you find and add sources for the unsourced parts, then work on other improvements, then re-write the lead. Here is a short list of suggestions:
- Many parts of the article lack sources. In "Colonial Brazil (1500–1816)" for example, the first paragraph is unsourced, and the second paragraph includes one source that apparently supports one sentence but leaves the rest of the paragraph unsourced. A good rule of thumb is to provide a source for every set of statistics, every unusual claim, every direct quotation, and every paragraph. If one source supports an entire paragraph, it's best to put the citation at the very end of the paragraph.
- The lead should be a summary of the entire article and not simply an introduction. A good rule of thumb is to include in the lead at least a mention of each of the main text sections. WP:LEAD has details.
- The dab tool at the top of this review page finds five links that go to disambiguation pages instead of their intended targets.
- To avoid repeating important words from the article title in the heads and subheads, I would suggest changing the subheads in the "History" section to "Colony", "Kingdom", "Empire", and "Republic". Further down in the article, I would make the subheads more telegraphic to avoid repeating the word "flag"; i.e., "Anthem" instead of "Flag anthem".
- The spaced hyphen is not used in Wikipedia articles, and page ranges and date ranges take an en dash rather than a hyphen. I ran a script to fix most (if not all) of these.
Colonial Brazil (1500–1816)
- "The green and white colors representing the House of Braganza and the national colors of Portugal." - This is not a complete sentence.
Empire of Brazil (1822–1889)
- This section has many extremely short paragraphs. The Manual of Style advises against them. Two possible solutions are to expand or merge the paragraphs.
Construction
- "The flag's length is twenty modules and the width, fourteen, translating into an aspect ratio of 7:10." - Should an explanation of "module" be included here? Are any concrete dimensions specified in the law? Do flags have to be of any particular size, or is the aspect ratio all that is specified?
Stars
- WP:MOS#Bulleted and numbered lists suggests using straight prose rather than lists when feasible. It would be easy to convert the star list to straight prose.
Naval jack
- Would it be possible to expand this extremely short section by a couple of sentences? This would make room for the image, which now overlaps into the "Governmental flags" section and displaces an edit button.
I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 16:24, 16 October 2010 (UTC)