Wikipedia:Peer review/Dysart, Fife/archive1

Dysart, Fife edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i would like to know if my efforts will be successful enough to acquire start class for the article. I know that the article can do with some more pictures, a shorter better written introduction and maybe do with another section - governance (which i have been pending) but on a general view does this stand any chance.

Thanks, Kilnburn (talk) 15:57, 7 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from MeegsC

It would certainly now qualify as start class, but it has a ways to go before it moves much higher. In particular, here's a look at the lead:

  • Be sure to mention which country Dysart belongs to; don't assume your readers will know that Fife is part of Scotland!
  • What on earth does the sentence The origins of the actual town were discovered into a record around 1220... mean to say?
  • There should be no gaps between punctuation (or the end of a word) and an associated reference number. Like this.[1] Not like this. [2]
  • Is the "Sinclair" family important enough to have a Wikipedia article? If so, link to it. If not, briefly explain who they are and why they're important.
  • Who is David I? If there's a Wikipedia article on him, link to it.
  • Read WP:MOS regarding "em-dashes"; all your in-sentence dashes should be converted to em-dashes.
  • There is a misplaced clause in the sentence The town became known for various industries such as nailmaking, linen, coal and salt [5] - which for the latter went into direct competition with their neighbour, Kirkcaldy in 1244. [6] "The latter" here refers to salt—which most certainly did not go into direct competition with Kirkcaldy! : )
  • Is it Tolbooth or Tollbooth? And why is this (and Town House) capitalised?

If you'd like some additional feedback, please respond here, and I'll continue my review... MeegsC | Talk 15:14, 13 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  1. ^ example
  2. ^ another example