Wikipedia:Peer review/Doune Castle/archive1

Doune Castle edit

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I've listed this article for peer review to find out what is needed to bring it up to A-class possibly even featured article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Version_1.0_Editorial_Team/Assessment

Thanks, Franko2nd (talk) 17:11, 7 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This is an excellent article. The only deficiency I can see that would keep it from FA status is the reference style. I'd recommend reformatting the refs in WP:HARV style for uniformity. Tom Reedy (talk) 17:02, 8 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: I enjoyed reading this and agree that it is generally well done, but have some more concrete suggestions for improvement before FAC. Thanks for your work on this interesting article.

The infobox says it is now ruined, but the rest of the article talks about how it has been restored and is not really a ruin (or only partly a ruin)
Lead can the pronounciation of Doune be given in the lead?
The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. However the River Forth and town of Callander are only in the lead and should be in the body of the article too.
The antecedent of his is unclear in It was begun in the late 14th century by Robert Stewart, Duke of Albany (c.1340–1420), the son of King Robert II of Scotland, and Regent of Scotland from 1388 until his death. (whose death?)
Three sentences in a row in the second paragraph of the lead start with either "The castle..." or in one case "By 1800 the castle..."
Problem sentence It is now maintained by Historic Scotland. - it is good wherever possible to avoid words like now, currently, etc. Could the date be given instead? so something like "Historic Scotland has maintained it since YEAR."
Similarly, current is not super clear in Due to the status of its builder, Doune reflected current ideas of what a royal castle building should be.[2] could 14th century be used instead? Or some other more specific time phrase?
Does between 1475 and 1525 refer specifically to the construction of Doune, or more generally to the creative period? The castle itself was built during one of the most creative and productive periods of Scottish medieval architecture, between 1375 and 1425, ...
In Regent Albany it is not clear when he stopped being regent for James I ( the next section implies he was regent until his death, but this could be made clearer in this section).
Royal retreat I am not sure that fairly common words like ransom and treason need to be linked here - see WP:OVERLINK
I know at this point Murdoch is also Lord Albany, but I still was thinking of his father when I read this: Albany and two of his sons were imprisoned for treason, and then executed in May 1425. Would it be clearer as "Murdoch and two of of his sons... " or even "Murdoch, Lord Albany, and two of his sons..."
WP:MOSIMAGE says to avoid sandwiching text between two images, but the image of James III and Margaret forms a sandwich with the seal of Robert Stewart and the top of the portrait of James Graham. Adding the "upright" parameter to images will make them narrower and may help. It may also be that two of the images could be placed side by side using the {{double image}} or another similar template
Prison and garrison When I first read "minister" here I assumed it was one of the king's ministers (an official of state), not a member of the clergy
Not super clear what is happening again in 1715 - assume it is a garrison, but could also be repairs were ordered: The castle was garrisoned by government troops during the Jacobite Rising of Bonnie Dundee in 1689, when repairs were ordered, and again during the rising of 1715.[6]
The Ruin and restoration section seemed very brief to me - can it be expanded somehow?
Too complex, may need to be split into two sentences and reowrded The castle is now maintained by Historic Scotland, having been donated to a predecessor organisation by Douglas Stuart, 20th Earl of Moray, in 1984, and is open to the public. so something like In 1984, Douglas Stuart, 20th Earl of Moray, donated the castle to a predecessor organisation of Historic Scotland, which maintains it. As of 2010, Castle Doune is open to the public.
The article capitalizes "Lord" as if it were a proper noun, but unless it is part of a name, I do not think this follows the MOS. So "the Lord's Hall" or "Lord Farquaad" are all OK as they are proper nouns, but "He was the Lord of the castle" is not OK as it is just a title, not a proper noun. I am not sure about "the Lord's tower" - is this what the sources use?
The article must be consistent on what kind of units it uses first. Early on Imperial units (miles) come first, then in 'Description metric units (meters) come first. Pick one and stick with it.
Not all headers follow WP:HEAD. The Lord's tower probably does not need the "The", and avoid repeating the article name in headers (so change Doune Castle in fiction' - the reader already knows which castle this is ;-) )
Monty Python and the Holy Grail Make sure that sources used meet WP:RS - for example what makes "Scotland: the Movie Location Guide" a reliable source?
Avoid bullet lists if at all possible - why can't the list be converted to straight prose?
The source cited says that it was not the National Trust back then (and isn't it Scottish Trust anyway?): However, the National Trust later withdrew their permission, leaving the producers with little time to find new locations.
Make sure references have alll information needed- so ref 14 has no publisher listed (and again, why is this a RS?)
Spell out abbreviations in refs like Royal Commission on the Ancient and Historical Monuments of Scotland
Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches for more details

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:47, 13 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]