Donkey Kong Country edit
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I have just finished an extensive rewrite that Jaguar and I initiated two years ago, and I believe it's ready for FAC. However, I just wanted to get some feedback before we eventually nominate it. I'm still doing some minor print reference work to include all ISSNs and locations but otherwise I think it's complete. I'd greatly appreciate any commentary! JOEBRO64 14:19, 21 June 2022 (UTC)
Joebro64, I read the entirety of the article, and I have to admit, the entire thing is phenomenal. I found no major issues, and the only changes (which are outlined below) are only minor suggestions that you don’t need to implement unless you want to.
- In development (Background), change “In 1985, brothers Tim and Chris Stamper, British developers who previously founded the British computer game studio Ultimate Play the Game, established Rare” to “In 1985, brothers Tim and Chris Stamper established Rare. The brothers had previously created the British computer game studio Ultimate Play the Game, and founded Rare to focus on the burgeoning Japanese console market.”
- The Gameplay image might need an updated NFCC description. There is commentary on the artwork elsewhere in the article, but not in the Gameplay section. I suggest rewriting the image’s file description to fit better with the Gameplay section.
- Ref 24 does not say “the Stampers obtained the Donkey Kong licence after Nintendo offered them its catalogue of characters and they chose Donkey Kong.” when it is cited in Conception paragraph 2. It’s a great source, but I did not see it verify the statement it is included in.
- It says "Word of their progress reached Kyoto. Nintendo soon bought a 25% stake in the company, eventually expanding to 49%, and offered their catalogue of characters to create a CGI game around. The Stampers asked for Donkey Kong." I can still bin it though since we have attribution to Sutherland and Mayles. JOEBRO64 09:26, 29 June 2022 (UTC)
- Which Mayles is speaking in the third paragraph of the Conception subsection? There are two brothers, so a clarification with the designer’s first name is needed. Same thing with the Design subsection.
- In paragraph 4 of characters, “A number of animal companions were cut, such as an owl who provided tips, who was redesigned as Cranky Kong, who Rare intended to be the original Donkey Kong character from the arcade games.” is a run-on sentence. I suggest shortening it with less commas.
- In the third paragraph of the Graphics subsection “The internet did not exist at the time, so Rare essentially had to work from scratch.” might be an idiom. If possible, I would like a more literal meaning so that less experienced English speakers can understand it. But this is just a personal preference on my part, so leave it as is if you want.
- I’m suggest reviewing the YouTube sources at least once. Make sure they are verified accounts because that gives them a standard of reliability per WP:RSPYT. The channels appear reliable, but just double check just to be safe.
- In paragraph 3 of marketing, “uphill battle” may also be a Cliche/Idiom, and should be replaced with a more literal meaning if possible. Such as “a difficult task”.
- Refs 51 and 138 are from Twitter. I’d try and find a better source if possible, but WP:TWEET appears to grant some leniency since the claims are made by verified users associated with the development of DKC.
- Just to clarify, the first one is from Robin Beanland himself. The second one is from Frank Cifaldi, who's a subject-matter expert and has written for many RSs in the past (including as the features editor of Game Developer, one of the most respected video game-related RSs) JOEBRO64 09:29, 29 June 2022 (UTC)
Overall, I think the article is a great candidate for FA, with high-quality sources, great writing, MOS compliance, and overall professionalism. I’d personally give the article the bronze star! CollectiveSolidarity (talk) 20:35, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you for your comments! I should get to addressing/responding to them soon, it may be a day or two since I'm traveling abroad at the moment. JOEBRO64 12:41, 27 June 2022 (UTC)
Standard note edit
- STANDARD NOTE: I have added this PR to the Template:FAC peer review sidebar to get quicker and more responses. When this PR is closed, please remove it from the list. Also, consider adding the sidebar to your userpage to help others discover pre-FAC PRs, and please review other articles in that template. Thanks, Z1720 (talk) 15:48, 6 July 2022 (UTC)