Wikipedia:Peer review/Clan MacAulay/archive1

Clan MacAulay edit

I'm hoping to get some feedback to help make a stronger article. Any suggestions would be great. This article hasn't been reviewed yet. Thanks.--Celtus 05:09, 23 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

  • Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.[?]
Lengthened lead section.--Celtus 09:50, 28 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Dates fixed as per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates).--Celtus 09:50, 28 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed.--Celtus 09:50, 28 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally do not start with articles ('the', 'a(n)'). For example, if there was a section called ==The Biography==, it should be changed to ==Biography==.[?]
This recommendation doesn't seem to apply to this article.--Celtus 09:50, 28 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
You have several headings beginning with "The" and one beginning with "An", the recommendation is to remove these words, i.e. "An allliance with clan Gregor" would become "Alliance with clan Gregor", etc. Also, you have an extra l in alliance! DrKiernan 07:29, 9 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]
OK, got it. Headings no long start with The and An.--Celtus 06:51, 10 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please reorder/rename the last few sections to follow guidelines at Wikipedia:Guide to layout.[?]
  • Per WP:WIAFA, this article's table of contents (ToC) may be too long- consider shrinking it down by merging short sections or using a proper system of daughter pages as per Wikipedia:Summary style.[?]
  • This article may need to undergo summary style, where a series of appropriate subpages are used. For example, if the article is United States, than an appropriate subpage would be History of the United States, such that a summary of the subpage exists on the mother article, while the subpage goes into more detail.[?]
  • There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view.
    • it is claimed
    • might be weasel words, and should be provided with proper citations (if they already do, or are not weasel terms, please strike this comment).[?]
  • The script has spotted the following contractions: wasn't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded.
Fixed.--Celtus 09:50, 28 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, DrKiernan 14:31, 26 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]