Charles A. Wickliffe edit
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for March 2009.
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My goal is to get this article to good article status. (Please note, I am not shooting for featured article at this point.) For some reason, I don't feel that it is quite up to GA standards yet, but I can't put my finger on why. I'd like to get feedback on what needs to be improved to make this a GA, or if you think it is already there, please let me know that as well.
Thanks, Acdixon (talk • contribs • count) 01:55, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
Finetooth comments: My impression is that this is almost GA. It's generally well-written, seems factually accurate and verifiable, is broad in coverage, neutral, and stable. I have some suggestions about images and their licenses, about sections where the prose seems a bit choppy, and about a few other quite minor prose issues.
Images
- The lead image has a license problem. Please see WP:FURG for an explanation of this fairly complicated business. In addition to the non-free copyright tag and rationale, the license page needs a link to the image source, not just to the disconnected image. The idea is to provide the information that a fact-checker would need to verify the claims being made. It would also be helpful to broaden the description a bit to include the dates of Wickliffe's term as governor.
- Sorry about that. I didn't check the image, so I didn't realize it was using the wrong tag. I found a source that says the image was created in 1908, which should put it in the public domain. I've updated the image page accordingly.
- The licenses look OK on the other two, but the descriptions could be more complete. Suggestion: Imagine a reader who finds the image without having read the article, and briefly explain the image to that reader.
- I've added some verbiage to the Wickland image, but I don't know much about the other one. Bedford, the image's creator, would have to add those details.
- This is a nitpick, but the Wickland photo seems tilted to the left. It might not work, but I'd be tempted to rotate it a few degrees clockwise, re-crop, and see how it looks. This is possible in some photo manipulation programs like Photoshop (commercial) and Paint.NET (free and downloadable) but not others.
- Again, I think Bedford would need to address this issue, especially considering my Photoshop skills are adequate at best.
Lead"
- "Wickliffe received a strong education both in public school and through private tutors." - Tighten by deleting "both"?
- Done.
- "Following his term as governor, President Tyler appointed Wickliffe as Postmaster General." - To move modifier close to the noun modified, perhaps this would be better: "President Tyler appointed Wickliffe as Postmaster General after his term as governor."
- Done.
Early life"
- "His family immigrated to Kentucky" - "Emigrated"?
- Done.
Later political career
- It might be worthwhile to link "trestle".
- Done.
- In this section and in a few other places in the article, I found the writing a bit choppy. I think this could easily be fixed by adding a little variety to the sentence structure in the midst of the choppy places. Combining an occasional pair of similar short sentences and making a slightly longer compound sentence might do the trick. Example: "Wickliffe served as a delegate to the Democratic National Convention of 1864 in Chicago, casting his vote for George B. McClellan.[19] In the final years of his life, he became totally blind.[3] While visiting his daughter in Maryland, he fell gravely ill.[16] He died on October 31, 1869, near Ilchester, Maryland and was buried in Bardstown Cemetery in Bardstown.[6] During World War I, a U.S. naval ship was named in Wickliffe's honor." This might be adjusted as follows:
"Wickliffe served as a delegate to the Democratic National Convention of 1864 in Chicago, casting his vote for George B. McClellan.[19] In the final years of his life, he became totally blind.[3] While visiting his daughter in Maryland, he fell gravely ill[16] and, dying on October 31, 1869, near Ilchester, was buried in Bardstown Cemetery in Bardstown.[6] During World War I, a U.S. naval ship was named in Wickliffe's honor." Or something like that.
- Corrected this example and a few others. Let me know if I made anything worse!
Links
- This article has quite a high density of links in places. I'd suggest weeding out a few here and there. For example, I don't think you need to link "British" or "French" or "blind" in the lead.
- I've taken out the examples above.
If you find this review to be helpful, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 06:33, 6 March 2009 (UTC)