Wikipedia:Peer review/Braathens destinations/archive1

Braathens destinations

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I feel it is close to the quality needed for FL. However, there have not been any prior airline destination articles up for FLC, and I want community feedback to spot anything that would need improvement or corrections. I am not among the projects best prose writers, and would also appropriate a check to grammar and flow, although MOS should be pretty tight. Two things that I have actively chosen to do is to not make the table sortable (I don't understand why the reader would want to sort it) and not used the title "List of...". If anyone disagrees with those two choices, it would be nice to hear their reasoning.

Thanks, Arsenikk ^(talk) 00:09, 6 November 2009 (UTC)

• Regarding the section "Destinations". The series of images are displayed first, then the table, rendering a large whitespace between the text and the table. Geschichte (talk) 11:14, 6 November 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: I agree with User:Geschichte. The first thing I noticed was the huge white space. Looking at Featured Lists at WP:FL#Transport, I see there must be a way to reduce the table width and move the table up until it's snug against the text. The images can still be stacked vertically but to the table's right. See List of Bay Area Rapid Transit stations for an example.

• The images will need alt text to pass FLC. Alt text is meant to describe images to readers who can't see them, and it's not identical to captions. Please see WP:ALT for a full explanation.
• It's getting late, so I'll stop for the nonce and come back tomorrow with more comments. Finetooth (talk) 04:39, 14 November 2009 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the comments. After looking far and wide, I eventually found that somehow I had asked the table to be exactly 725 pixles wide. This caused the table to be unnecessarily wide, causing the whitespacee. Also added alt-text. Arsenikk ^(talk) 16:19, 14 November 2009 (UTC)

Further Finetooth comments: The layout looks much much better. I'm glad you found and fixed the problem. The alt text looks good too, but one image Image:BraathensGardermoen.JPG still needs alt text. (I used the alt-text reader in the toolbox at the top of this review page to check these; the unfinished ones show up as pink blanks). Here are a few further suggestions.

Lead

• "The airline has served 53 airports serving 50 cities, of which 25 airports serving 23 cities were in Norway and 6 destinations and cities in Sweden." - This sentence repeats "serve" too many times. Also, it's not clear whether this means that the 6 destinations and cities in Sweden were part of the 25 or whether this means 25 plus 6. Perhaps simplifying to this would be more clear: "The airline has used a total of 53 airports serving 50 destinations, 23 of which were in Norway and 6 in Sweden."
• "Braathens provided international services to 23 airports serving 24 cities in 18 counties." - "Countries" rather than "counties"?
• "In addition, Braathens has served numerous destinations as both regular and ad-hoc charter." - Maybe "as both a regular and an ad-hoc charter airline"?

History

• "Kristiansund was taken into use in 1970 and Molde in 1972." - Since you're using the phrase "taken into use" to refer to airplane types, it might be better to differentiate here by saying, "Kristiansund was added as a destination in 1970 and Molde in 1972."
• "Málaga and Alicante were introduced in 2000." - Perhaps "Málaga and Alicante were introduced as destinations in 2000"?

Destinations

• "The list includes the city, the airport's code by the International Air Transport Association (IATA airport code) and the International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO airport code), and the airport's name." - Tighten to "The list includes the city, the airport's code by the International Air Transport Association (IATA airport code) and the International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO airport code), and the airport's name"?

Notes and Bibliography

• Citations 26 and 27 could be combined using "ref = name".
• "Sæthre" appears to be misspelled in citation 24.
• The book in the bibliography lacks a publisher.
• To reduce page clutter, the "Tjomsland and Wilsberg, 1995" entries could be shortened to "Tjomsland," plus the page number(s).

General

• The dabfinder tool at the top of this review page finds a link that goes to a disambiguation page instead of its intended target.

• Captions that consist solely of a sentence fragment do not take terminal periods, but captions that are complete sentences or a combination of a complete sentence and a fragment or fragments need terminal periods. I tweaked the first two in the article as examples.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 16:32, 14 November 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for taking the time to review the article. I find this sort of feedback useful, as it gradually improves my writing abilities. Arsenikk ^(talk) 20:23, 16 November 2009 (UTC)