Wikipedia:Peer review/Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey/archive1

Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i am tryin to get it to an FA i think it has the potential.

Thanks, Pedro J. the rookie 22:45, 27 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  Doing...--Cannibaloki 18:31, 1 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Cannibaloki (talk · contribs)
  • "After being attacked by an octopus at the aquarium, Peter decides to become physically fit." Why Peter was attacked? Why he was in an aquarium?--Cannibaloki 00:37, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After [Again the word "after"?] spending a mere fifteen minutes at the gym, Peter believes he is now fit, so when former U.S. President Bill Clinton's car breaks down outside their house, he attempts to lift it without a jack, which results in him getting a sudden severe hernia and being hospitalized." What happened after Peter left the gym? How he met Bill Clinton?--Cannibaloki 00:37, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...after that, she leaves Brian alone to deal with Peter for the duration of the story." "...for the duration of the story." What is that sentence?--Cannibaloki 00:37, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why "multiple versions of this episode" is in quotes?--Cannibaloki 00:37, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "When Peter says 'that guy is really horny' when Bill Clinton breaks down outside his house..." should be When Bill Clinton breaks down outside his house and Peter says "that guy is really horny"... or The scene that shows when Bill Clinton leaves his home and Peter says, "that guy is really horny"...--Cannibaloki 00:37, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • done--Pedro J. the rookie 23:56, 5 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]