Wikipedia:Peer review/Baldness/archive1

Baldness edit

Previously, this article lacked sources and was fairly biased towards a 'bald is beautiful' POV as opposed to being informational. Citations have been added and the page has been made more informative. I'm hoping to get the notice at the top of the page saying that the information is questionable removed and any other advice that can be given. Thanks!

--Ryan Wise 18:17, 25 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Nicely-developed page, but I have a few comments:
  • The page in general is in need of more references. Where, for example, is it documented that "Stress reduction can be helpful in slowing hair loss"?
I just added some references on stress and hair loss. Let me know if more are needed.
--Ryan Wise 16:50, 21 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • The introduction needs to be shortened to give a summary of the subject. Right now it delves into too much detail. Most of the introduction can be moved down into the main article body.
  • The etymology section fails to explain the origin of the word "bald" as derived from the old English "balde", which is instead covered down in the trivia section.
  • Please resolve the DHT link to the actual article, rather than a disambiguation page. Actually it is normal practice for the first use of an abbreviation such as DHT to be fully expanded to display the meaning.
  • In the references section, when there is just a numbered link to an external site, I'd appreciate it if there were also a brief description of the site.
  • Rather than bolding terms such as Male pattern baldness, the style guide suggests using italics.
  • The "Concealing hair loss" and "Embracing baldness" sections should be combined into a section on cultural attitudes towards baldness. Also please cover in more detail the recent styles favoring a shaved head; the "Michael Jordan"/"Slick Watts" look.
Thanks! :) — RJH 15:55, 5 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]