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Armageddon (2006)

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review to get as much feedback as possible to get the article to an FAC.

Thanks, iMatthew (talk) 19:03, 16 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]


SRX's comments

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Resolved comments from SRX

Lead

  • It was the seventh annual Armageddon event. Eight professional wrestling matches, performances with pre-determined outcomes between wrestlers with fictional personalities that are portrayed as real, were featured on the event's card. The buildup to the matches and the scenarios that took place before, during, and after the event were planned by WWE's script writers. - this whole thing should be moved to the background section and reworded and reformatted like how it is written in SummerSlam (2003) or The Great American Bash (2005).
  • The event starred wrestlers from the SmackDown! brand, a storyline expansion of the promotion where employees are assigned to a wrestling brand under the WWE banner. - this should just say simply that is starred wrestlers from SmackDown.
  • Remove linking of real names in lead, use that in the background.
  • Two featured bouts were scheduled on the undercard, one being a Last Ride match, where the objective is to place an opponent in a hearse located on the entrance stage and drive them out of the arena. - this can be shortened or have the sentence read with the definition in the match embedded into the sentence.
    • In this way the following sentence The Undertaker (Mark Calaway) defeated Mr. Kennedy (Ken Anderson). - can link with the previous one because on their own it sounds like these were two different matches.
  • Needs a prose on the reception

Background

  • The leading staged rivalry going into the event was between Batista (David Bautista, Jr.) and King Booker (Robert Huffman). - since this is now a out of universe thing, it would benefit saying "written" into the event or scripted into the event.
  • Later that night, Batista announced that his partner would be WWE Champion John Cena. - you should mention that he is a superstar from the Raw roster at this time.
  • The following week on an episode of SmackDown!, Batista defeated Finlay in a non-title match by disqualification after Booker interfered on Finlay's behalf. - Yes we all know what non-title means, but it seems akward to someone unaware of it. It doesn't hurt to remove it.
  • On the December 15, 2006 edition of SmackDown!, Cena defeated Finlay in a non-title match after lifting Finlay up on his shoulders and slamming him to the mat, a move dubbed the FU. - same comment applies here. Also, it would benefit saying that Cena dubbed it the FU.
  • During the match, MVP was scripted to attempt and escape from the ring, but Kennedy caught him during the process and tried to throw him back into the ring, but MVP instead threw Kennedy in. Undertaker then kicked Kennedy in the face, and Kane (Glen Jacobs) attacked MVP at ringside. - holy hell, this needs a full stop somewhere, its just a long run-on sentence. Full stop after ring and start new sentence with "MVP instead...etc."
  • The following week, a hearse was parked on the entrance ramp when Kennedy appeared to talk about his match with Undertaker at Armageddon. - appeared where? it sounds like Kennedy "looked like he was talking about his match, but something happened"
  • I think it would benefit rewording the above sentence to saying that "a hearse was driven onto the entrance ramp." In this way the following sentences:
    • The hearse drove to the ring, appearing to have nobody in the driver's seat to drive the car. The Undertaker appeared from the back of the hearse, as Kennedy sprung from the ring. How about "The hearse, appearing to have nobody in the driver's seat, drove into the arena; suddenly, The Undertaker appeared from the back of the hearse, as Kennedy sprung from the ring.
  • On the December 1, 2006 edition of SmackDown!, Undertaker fought Montel Vontavious Porter (MVP) (Alvin Burke, Jr.) to a no contest just noticed, this one uses no contest while this one ..On the December 15, 2006 edition of SmackDown!, The Undertaker and Kane teamed together to face Kennedy and MVP in a tag team match, which ended in neither team winning the match. explains it and links it, needs fixing.
  • Kennedy knocked Kane down in the aisle and jumped into the driver's seat of the hearse. He threatened to run him over with the hearse that had appeared again. - need to introduce the hearse in the first sentence.
    • Honestly, the above sentences and the ones that follow are unnecessary, they just go way into detail, you just need major points and the mind games of The Undertaker are only notable once in a while, not in every sentence.
  • Would benefit explaining another feud.
--SRX 20:57, 16 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Further comments

  • Still needs a reception prose in the need, and needs another feud outlined for more general view of event.
  • Preliminary matches
    • The only way to win an Inferno match is by throwing one's opponent into a fire that surrounds the ring on all four sides. - needs to be in past tense
    • At the start of the match, MVP looked for a quick getaway, which the flames surrounding the ring prevented. - very wordy, "MVP attempted to leave the ring, which etc.."
    • Kane kicked MVP in the head and threw him into the ring corner, causing MVP to try and escape again. MVP, unable to escape past the fire, returned to the ring and was continuously knocked down by Kane. - dont understand how MVP throwing Kane caused him to try to leave, or the way it is worded is confusing. Also, how could he "returned to the ring" if he never left?
    • Back and forth action took place, as well as attempts at throwing each other into the flames. - per the PR and FAC of SummerSlam, Back and forth action should be avoided and reworded.
    • The finish of the match saw Kane grab MVP and force him backwards into the fire. MVP's costume caught on fire as he ran to the entrance ramp. MVP fell to the floor as WWE workers put out the flames with fire extinguishers. - this part should explain somehow that the finish was scripted as you know that they wouldn't really have him burned, also I saw this match, how come you don't explain how they ended up outside, where Kane burned MVP.
    • The following match was between Paul London and Brian Kendrick, the Blue Bloods (William Regal, otherwise known as Darren Matthews, and Dave Taylor]], MNM (Joey Mercury, otherwise known asAdam Birch, and Johnny Nitro, otherwise known as John Hennigan), and The Hardys (Matt and Jeff) in a ladder match for the WWE Tag Team Championship.
      • What kind of ladder match was this? Six person, six team? etc.
      • It is better to use brackets versus adding text in the parenthesis, makes it look messier.
      • Typo in the wikilinking of Dave Taylor
      • Space between "as" and "Adam", but either way should be in brackets.
    • The third match was a standard wrestling match between The Boogeyman (Marty Wright) and The Miz (Mike Mizanin). The Boogeyman controlled the majority of the match and eventually won by pinfall.[13][16]
      • 1) Why is this a separate paragraph?
      • 2)Should be expanded more, the way is written tells me nothing.
    • The next match was between Chris Benoit and Chavo Guerrero (Salvador Chavito Guerrero III) (accompanied by Vickie Guerrero) for the United States Championship.
      • "was between" is getting repeatitive.
      • accompanied should pipelink to "valet (professional wrestling)" if not already linked above.
    • Before the bell rang to start the match, Chavo attacked Benoit, but as the match began, Benoit retaliated by rushing and hitting Guerrero with his forearm, a move called the clothesline. - What I don't like about this article is that you don't explain the scripted parts, like it sounds as if Chavo legitimately attacked Benoit.
    • Before the bell rang to start the match, Chavo attacked Benoit, but as the match began, Benoit retaliated by rushing and hitting Guerrero with his forearm, a move called the clothesline. At the end of the match, Benoit covered Chavo to try to pin him, but Chavo managed to get his foot on top of the bottom rope, which forces the wrestler attempting the pin, to break the move. - there is no transition, how does it go from "Before the star of the match" to "At the end of the match?" Also, a pin is not a move.
    • Benoit then held Benoit's face back and pushed his leg down, stretching his body, and pinned Chavo to retain the championship and win the match. - this explanation is confusing.
    • The fifth match was the encounter of Gregory Helms versus Jimmy Wang Yang (James Yun) for the Cruiserweight Championship. - makes no sense "encounter of blah versus blah" should be "encounter of blah and blah" states the same thing. Why does the CW title not have the WWE acronym in front of it?

Main event matches

  • Towards the beginning of the match, Taker tossed Kennedy into the steel steps and then onto an announce table. - I think During the beginning of the match would be better worded here, as you would use the word towards to describe something in the end or in the middle. Also, what are steel steps? Who's announce table? The commentators?
  • Undertaker then threw Kennedy into the ring apron. - what is the ring apron?
  • A back-and-forth match took place until Undertaker tossed Kennedy on top of the roof of the hearse. - avoid using "back-and-forth" instead reword it as "Kennedy and The Undertaker wrestled inconclusively until (whoever got the advantage)"
  • During this time, The Undertaker was referred to as The Undertaker, so it should be like that throughout not just Undertaker.
  • There is also overlinking in the article, I think you know how to fix that.
  • Undertaker then grabbed and lifted Kennedy by the throat and slammed him to match, thus performing a chokeslam on him onto the roof of the car. - I also believe you know how to word this better.
  • Undertaker then grabbed Kennedy, turned him upside-down and dropped into a kneeling position, driving Kennedy's head into the mat. - I know you can word this better as welll.
  • Undertaker through Kennedy into the hearse and drove it out of the arena to win the match.[13][19] - wrong word, you mean threw not through.
  • In the ring, Jillian Hall, Layla El, Ashley Massaro, and Kristal Marshall all took part in a "Naughty or Nice" contest, a lingerie contest, where the Diva with the loudest fan reaction would win. - redundant saying "In the ring." How about, "After the Last Ride match, ...etc."
  • (portrayed by Big Dick Johnson, otherwise Christopher DeJoseph) - just use brackets, it messes up the flow like this.
  • The main event was the tag team match between the team of John Cena and Batista versus the team of King Booker and Finlay. - to much repetition of "team"
  • Batista wrestled the match with his left arm taped up. Back and forth action took place at the start of the match, until Cena grabbed Finlay's face and bent it back, stretching Finlay's body, a submission move that Cena dubbed the STFU. - why was Batista's arm "taped up?" Avoid "back and forth," and you don't have to explain submission moves.
  • Finlay broke the submission hold, and The Little Bastard (Dylan Postl) ran into the ring. - I don't think he was ever referred to as The Little Bastard.
  • Little Bastard attempted to kick Cena, but accidentally kicked himself in his head when Cena moved out of the way. - I don't see how he could have kicked himself?
  • Little Bastard attempted to kick Cena, but accidentally kicked himself in his head when Cena moved out of the way. Booker tried to hit Batista with a kick to the face, but Batista moved out of the way, and Booker accidentally hit Finlay. - needs transitions

'Aftermath

Results

  • You can link in the table.

--SRX 18:01, 27 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Gavyn Sykes' comments

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Lead/Background

  • Booker Huffman is piped to Robert Huffman in the BG but just linked as Booker Huffman in the lead. Needs consistency.
  • "neither team winning the match" just links to professional wrestling. Probably a caps error after a #.

Event

  • I think "In an unteleivised match, known as a dark match" would flow better.
  • The "Ladder" in "Ladder match" should not be capitalized.
  • It makes no mention of Mercury's legit injury. Really needs to be noted.
  • Chavo is "Salvador Chavito Guerrero III" per the source in his article not the IV.
  • Explain what a manager is.
  • Explain Sharpshooter
  • Why was Helms bleeding. Was it a botched move on Yang's part? Bladejob?
  • Explain Tombstone piledriver, fix link so it doesn't just go to the top of the piledriver article.
  • Big Dick Johnson's real name is Christopher DeJoseph.
  • All moves mentioned in the main event require explanation, IMO.

Reception

  • Which tag team match?

That's all I found that SRX didn't cover. Gavyn Sykes (talk) 22:33, 16 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

All done. iMatthew (talk) 16:04, 20 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Giggy

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More non-lead comments later, hopefully. Giggy (talk) 04:49, 17 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Wrestlinglover

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I feel like being helpful so I've decided to review the article to help you out.

Well there are my comments. I hope they helped. I'm off to review Bad Blood 04 and 03.--WillC 05:21, 27 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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