Wikipedia:Peer review/Alberta and Great Waterways Railway scandal/archive2

Alberta and Great Waterways Railway scandal edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
This is a frustrating article, which I first wrote back in 2008. While it passed the good article process easily, it did so without must feedback, and I think it remains deficient in some respects. Feedback from two other editors (User:Politizer on the article's talk page, and User:Doncram in a previous peer review) suggested that it might read too chronologically, if I can put it like that - the article reads too much like a recounting of events from when the scandal brook until the royal commission gave its report. I think that there's probably something to that, but I can't figure out an alternate organization that will work. I have completely re-worked the lede to (I think) give a better overview of just what the scandal was, rather than just the sequence of events, which I hope helps somewhat.

Anyway, like I said: it's a frustrating article. I'd appreciate feedback on any aspect of it, but organization is probably what most concerns me right now. Steve Smith (talk) 07:43, 9 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Just at a glance: the lede is great, summarises the scandal nicely. When I got to the body text, the sections themselves and each paragraph felt too long. I'll look more closely later - David Gerard (talk) 21:16, 29 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]