Wikipedia:Featured article review/Mercedes-Benz 450SEL 6.9/archive1

Mercedes-Benz 450SEL 6.9 edit

Article is no longer a featured article

Review commentary edit

This article was promoted in August 2004 and has not kept up with the increasing standards of featured articles.

2(a): The writing is not of featured quality:
- Filler text - "The 6.9 also has the distinction of being among the first vehicles ever produced with ..."
- Tense errors - "The engine was a cast iron V8..."
- Inappropriate abbreviations - "... the system circulated twelve L of oil..."
- Incomplete sentences - "Top speed was factory-rated at 140 mph (225 km/h), but..."
- Inappropriate tone/not formal - "High price of admission" as a section title"
- Lists that need to be converted to prose, or simply removed. Much of the "Famous owners" and "Notable versions" sections is trivia that does not belong in the article. Some does not even fit the current section titles; John Frankenheimer is listed, but is not said to have owned the car.
- ~~Lacks {{Infobox Automobile}}~~
2(c): There is no distinction between the references and external links. The sole inline citation references a point of trivia that is unimportant to the article, and is not formatted properly.
3(a): The lead omits major points from the body and thus is not a sufficient summary of the article.
~~4: The only image in the article is used under fair use without rationale, but ultimately needs to be replaced with a free alternative.~~

Pagra shtak 05:46, 11 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Talk message left at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Automobiles. Sandy 21:31, 16 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

FARC commentary edit

Main FA criteria concerns are writing quality (2a), citations (2c), LEAD (3a), and images (4). Marskell 11:21, 26 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I checked the article for progress, and found a series of vandalism/nonsense edits since it was nominated here on July 11: reverted to July 11 version, no change to this article. Sandy 23:23, 28 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Neutral, but I'll go "Remove" if nothing is done. (It has hardly been touched, thus far.) This is quite well written (but needs a light copy-edit; e.g., this snake—"Originally developed for use in race cars as a way to prevent foaming of the engine oil by the crankshaft which in turn would create a serious drop in oil pressure, the system circulated twelve L of oil between the storage tank mounted inside the right front fender and the engine as opposed to the usual four or five L found in V8s with a standard oil pan and oil pump.")

It's a pity that the nominator's issues have not been addressed. I'm carpet bombing the recent contributors with a message. Tony 04:07, 1 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I was able to get permission to use another image under a CC license. --Interiot 18:45, 3 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Remove per my nomination. One (rather irrelevant) inline citation and references thrown together with external links is not acceptable for a featured article. The writing still needs much improvement. I notice three paragraphs in a row that start "The 6.9 was..." (and some of those should be is instead of was). Pagra shtak 00:12, 8 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Remove – Almost a month, still no inline citations. Sandy 21:54, 10 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]