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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Zaprešić/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 19:39, 4 April 2009 [1].

Zaprešić edit

Nominator(s): Admiral Norton (talk)

I am nominating this for featured article because it passed GA recently and had a subsequent peer review to determine whether it's ready for FA. Thus I believe it's time to make this article progress one step further. Admiral Norton (talk) 12:47, 13 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comments - the couple of English sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. I did not evaluate the non-English sources. And surely there must be some books on the subject? I note that all the refs are to websites. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:40, 13 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Looking at web, I've almost immediately found Sto godina vatrogastva u Zaprešiću (100 years of firefighting in Zaprešić), but this is hardly something that would merit a "Further reading" section. I'll have a look at a public library, but I don't promise anything, because Zaprešić is a fairly new town and it didn't even have a four-story building before the Zagreb urban area came close. Admiral Norton (talk) 19:51, 13 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • I've researched several public libraries in Zagreb (I haven't found time to visit Zaprešić), but everything else I've found are two books about Novi Dvori (a castle in Zaprešić). —Admiral Norton (talk) 22:36, 21 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Tech. Comments

  • Dabs need to be fixed (according to the checker tool in the toolbox at the right)
  • ...are up to speed as well.--Best, ₮RUCӨ 15:55, 14 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • External links (according to the checker tool) are up to speed
  • Ref formatting (according to WP:REFTOOLS) is found up to speed.--₮RUCӨ 23:55, 13 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose. It's a nice looking article, but I'm concerned about the grammar in places, and further explanation could be helpful in some places. You've got a lot of good information here, but I think that it could be organized better and the history section in particular needs to be expanded.
  • Comments and questions:
  • Overall, I'd suggest getting a few people to read through this and copy edit it. In many places, articles are misused and the text does not flow smoothly.
  • The article has been already through two peer reviews and I feel that, unfortunately, I'm the best speaker of English on WikiProject Croatia, so I don't know what to do anymore. I had tried to make some improvements to the flow before, but I was asked to remove them at the GA review because it was deemed to be unnecessary editorializing. (Also, I was taught that encyclopedias don't look the same as ordinary books; I was trying to pick the notable bits of information from a large body of text).
  • In note 1, I'd suggest second-largest rather than second-biggest. Traditionally, large is used more often when dealing with size and big when dealing with importance or notability.
  •  Done
  • In the lede, it's stated that the city's water quality is good, but I don't see a citation to back that up in the text.
  •  Done It's ref 49 ("pitkavoda_zap"); I added it to the sentence "The water from the water pump is of drinking quality."
  • In the lede, you state that Zapresic had the first "meat industry" in Croatia. What does that mean? Was it the first large-scale packaging plant, the first export-quality meat, or something else?
  •  Done I changed to "meat packaging plant", as it agrees with context of the sentence mentioning it in the ref.
  • I threw a wikilink in for the utility company, but don't feel as if I'm forcing you to stub that out.
  •  Done I'll have a try if I catch enough time soon, but I don't think it's very notable.
  • The lede sentence about the "palace path" was somewhat awkward; I changed it around a bit, so let me know if it's wrong or if you disagree.
  • It's correct. In fact, it's way better now.
  • You alternate between using the serial comma and not using it. Please stick with one style.
  •  Done I tend to use it only when the last entry is so long that an omission of a serial comma would be ambiguous. However, I've now changed the entire text to use the serial comma.
  • I've heard that basketball is pretty popular in Croatia -- does the town have a basketball team? I ask this because you mention the futbol team.
  • I'd suggest removing the reference to the global financial crisis in the lede. As phrased now, it reeks of boosterism and doesn't really contribute to an overall understanding of the town's history.
  •  Done I had decided to reek because the source did, but the mention in the lead is now gone.
  • I'm a bit concerned at the length of the history section. For a town that has been in existence for more than seven centuries, I don't think a few paragraphs do it justice. Forex, we don't get anything about the period from 1575 to the First World War. That's more than three centuries! Surely something important must have happened during that time period. Industrialization, the building of the railroad that you mentioned, political upheval, anything at all would fit in here.
  • Also in the history section, you mention something about the refugees bringing a different Slavic pronunciation to the area. Why is this important? Do people in the area still pronounce things differently from their neighbors? Is it a pronounced regional accent unique to the town itself? If this is something that affects more than just the town, I'd strongly suggest putting it into a different article.
  • If the town was not established as separate until 1995, I'd strongly suggest putting that in the lede. In addition, I'm confused as to how the area was organized prior to the establishment of the town. According to your notes, it looks as if the town was formed from the merger of several smaller communities. Is this correct?
  • In the text, you mention that it's the most densely populated town in Croatia, but the density figures aren't in the text. They're just in the infobox. Could you put those into the text right next to where you talk about the density?
  • You say that it has "very high" net migration and population growth -- could you provide a figure for another town of similar size in order to provide context and back that statement up?
  • When you say that NK Inter Zaprešić is the "best-placed" team in the county, what does that mean? Is it the highest-ranked, plays in the highest league, or something else?
  • These are a few things that came to mind as I did a quick readthrough of the article. Feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns, and I'll reserve a second readthrough until other folks take a look, too. JKBrooks85 (talk) 11:19, 2 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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