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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Vanajan Autotehdas/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Graham Colm (talk) 14:26, 18 June 2014 (diff).

Vanajan Autotehdas

edit
Nominator(s): Gwafton (talk) 20:31, 8 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

This article tells the story of a defunct Finnish heavy vehicle producer. I have made the article as well as I can, I can't find any missing element. I believe I have got the best available sources. Cheers, Gwafton (talk) 20:31, 8 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Eric Corbett The article needs a thorough copyedit to meet FA criterion 1a. Here are a few examples:

  • "Defence minister Rudolf Walden called up a meeting to find solutions ...". You call a meeting, you don't call one up.
  • "... unwilling Tor Nessling was set to the position of general manager". It would be more idiomatic to say something like "the reluctant Tor Nessling was appointed general manager".
  • "A contract for factory construction was signed off with a contractor in 30 March." Should be on 30 March.
  • "... far below the target of 2 000 vehicles". That should be either 2000 or 2,000. Same with other numbers in the article.
  • "... became available in 12 SAT's locations". SAT's isn't a possessive in that context, it's an adjective. So it ought to be "12 SAT locations".
  • "The factory area was, however, joined from municipality of Vanaja to town of Hämeenlinna". I've got no idea what that means.
    Municipality is an administrative unit in Finland, you can find more information here. The factory area used to belong to Vanaja but it was joined to Hämeenlinna (later the rest of Vanaja was joined to Hämeenlinna as well but that is another story). --Gwafton (talk) 05:35, 18 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    I don't need more information, I'm simply saying it doesn't make sense. Eric Corbett 12:06, 18 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • " ... both companies got in their use a big share of the limited foreign currency reserves for component supply". Don't know what that means either.
Foreign trade was restricted for a long time. When for example a Finnish paper company sold paper to UK, the payment came in sterling. The money transfer went through Bank of Finland which gave the payment to the paper company in Finnish marks. When VAT bought Leyland engines from UK, the transfer went again through Bank of Finland which changed the Finnish marks into sterling and passed on the payment. Now, if the bank did not have enough of the British currency, some trading was priorised over other and I assume that the Finnish vehicle producers enjoyed a special status whereas the vehicle importers had to struggle. --Gwafton (talk) 05:35, 18 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Kämper products were in between of 14–150 hp." I assume what's meant is something like "Kämper products delivered between 14 and 150 hp."
  • "... a middle engined VLK550 bus chassis". Should be "mid-engined VLK550 bus chassis".
  • ... VAT had co-operation with the French Camions Willème SA." Should be "co-operated with the French Camions Willème SA."

Eric Corbett 00:00, 18 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your contributions. I answered your questions above in between of the text. --Gwafton (talk) 05:35, 18 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose. The work needed to get this article to meet FA criterion 1a is very considerable and best done away from this nomination, which I suggest ought to be withdrawn. Eric Corbett 12:06, 18 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Note This nomination is premature and I will archive it in a few moments. The prose is very poor in parts; some sentences are incomprehensible. I saw that the peer review was not helpful, but I suggest that a Good Article nomination might be useful, after a thorough copyedit. Graham Colm (talk) 14:26, 18 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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