Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Nick Drake
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article review. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was promoted 22:53, 10 February 2007.
Nick Drake edit
Self nom, with help from numerous IPs watching my back on spelling. Article tells quite a sad story, though it's enlivened by insightful commentry from Joe Boyd, Drake's sister Gabrielle, and a few others. Previous nom here, withdrawn at my request until I tought it ready. I think it ready now, though I might live to regret this. + Ceoil 23:21, 31 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Support -great article which qualifies all criteria. I think it qualifies WRT teh hardest which is good and exciting prose. The only minor point is in the lead's last sentence: "...within one month Drake had sold more records than he had in the previous thirty" - maybe replacing thirty with 2½ years? Cas Liber 00:25, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Support - comprehensive, well-researched and well written. An excellent resource. Vaughan 07:15, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Weak oppose. It's generally very good, but the prose could do with some work. Examples from just looking at the lead and first subsection:
- Drake's primary instrument was the guitar, but he was also proficient at piano, clarinet, and saxophone. - the second half doesn't contradict the first so "but" isn't really necessary.
- Inconsistent use of "though" and "although"; I'd stick to the latter throughout.
- However, none sold more than five thousand copies... - again, this isn't a contradiction of anything before. The fact he recorded albums doesn't imply that they sold well.
- mid 1970s - I think this should have a hyphen.
- of 'doomed romantic' musician - is "doomed romantic" a direct quote from somewhere? It should have double-quotes at any rate.
- had all previously attended - I think previously is implied.
- He developed an interest in sport, became an accomplished sprinter, and was captain of the school's rugby team for a period - bit messy, and not really suited to a triad as the first part leads on to the second two. Better would be "He developed an interest in sport, becoming an accomplished sprinter and captain of the school's rugby team for a period".
- Drake played piano in the school orchestra, and also learned clarinet and saxophone - "also" is redundant as it's not being used additively. Also a bit vague: did he learn clarinet and saxophone in school; if not, why is it being linked to the school orchestra?
- It's very close, but I think it needs a final polish. Trebor 11:00, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- - This is very helpful feedback, I've taken care of most of your specific comments, weeding out similar issues later in the text. The words 'though' and 'although' are overused throughout, replacing with synonyms. + Ceoil 21:33, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- There are a few more points, but being interested in the subject I'm gonna run through it myself (with the added advantage that I only have myself to blame for any remaining mistakes); I've done half, and I'll finish when I'm more awake. Out of interest, is there a particular reason for the American spelling? I don't mind; it just seemed slightly odd for an article on an English artist. Trebor 22:43, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- I'm Irish myself, if US spelling has slipped in, blame microsoft's spell checker! I would appreciate if you could help on the prose, nice work so far. + Ceoil 22:52, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Yay, I'll change it. Because when I said I didn't mind, I of course meant I loathe American spelling with a passion as an awful bastardisation of our fair tongue...or something similar. I must get a CD by this guy sometime, he sounds great. Trebor 22:55, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- I'm Irish myself, if US spelling has slipped in, blame microsoft's spell checker! I would appreciate if you could help on the prose, nice work so far. + Ceoil 22:52, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- There are a few more points, but being interested in the subject I'm gonna run through it myself (with the added advantage that I only have myself to blame for any remaining mistakes); I've done half, and I'll finish when I'm more awake. Out of interest, is there a particular reason for the American spelling? I don't mind; it just seemed slightly odd for an article on an English artist. Trebor 22:43, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- - This is very helpful feedback, I've taken care of most of your specific comments, weeding out similar issues later in the text. The words 'though' and 'although' are overused throughout, replacing with synonyms. + Ceoil 21:33, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Support now. Meets the criteria in my eyes, good work. Trebor 20:03, 2 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Weak oppose, this is a fine article, but it still needs a little bit more tweaking. For example, in the intro: "...his reluctance to perform live or to be interviewed contributed to his lack of commercial success" is quite clunky. The middle 'to' isn't needed, and it could probably be reworded even more tightly.
- In the early life section, we learn that his father worked for the East India Trading Company. This currently redirects to the British East India Company, an organisation that was dismantled long before Drake was born. An obvious error. A citation is needed to establish what job his father actually did. It would be a good to know what his mother did as well, particularly as she seems to have been an influence on Drake. I would suggest dropping the 'colonial', and changing the 'immigrated' to the more neutral 'moved'.--Nydas(Talk) 12:04, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- - Thanks Nydas, have neutralised and corrected that section. There's some nice detail in the sources re their romance (eg Rodney was 9 years older, and had to wait until she turned 21 before her parents would let them marry), but maybe that would be straying a bit. Molly was an influence; she wrote songs herself, and both her voice and the mood of her pieces are remarkably similar to her son's work. I'll add that. + Ceoil 21:33, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Comment (haven't read the article yet) - very nice referencing work, Ceoil. Can you please make the appendices at the bottom of the article conform with WP:GTL? I believe Wikiquotes belongs in External links, and the Resources heading is extraneous. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 13:39, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- - Taken care of. + Ceoil 21:33, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Support, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 16:04, 4 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- - Taken care of. + Ceoil 21:33, 1 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Support. A generally well and clearly written, researched, and referenced article on (allow me to be frank) one of the best songwriters and guitarists—his voice wasn't bad, either—I've ever heard. A thousand bravos, Ceoil, for your excellent work. —Saposcat 10:02, 2 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Support Let's hope other musician articles happen to get your attention. LuciferMorgan 01:26, 7 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article review. No further edits should be made to this page.